Now, the amusing part here is *not* the sign itself. To me, it’s just a moose-crossing sign. I’ve seen plenty of those in Canada.

This one, however, is located just outside of Linton, Indiana. On a farm. Where they raise … Buffalo.

Buffalo.

Not moose.

This unfortunate sign was seen on I-57 in Illinois. Guys always exaggerate, don’t they?

Isn’t that just like the media? They get you all worked up about an impending Terrorist attack, and nothing happens. Not that I’m complaining — no, not by any means. 😉 DC-area anchor-person’s reports of late could easily be likened to those of junior Meteorologists. 

There’s a 50% chance of nerve-agents for the weekend, clearing up Monday, when we’ll see mostly cloudy skies and a temperature upwards of 5000°F during the morning rush.

We’re also supposed to have “the biggest storm of the season” this weekend. And, of course, they’re always wrong.

Phbbbt … It’s Valentine’s Day … The current outlook is partly cloudy and cold through the day, with hot. tropical conditions after 6PM.

Supposedly, something’s gonna explode today in DC.  Anti-Missile missiles are positioned all around the area, and firetrucks and police are scrambling like mad in preparation for an impending Biological, Chemical or Nuclear attack — they’re not sure which, but they’re leaning towards Nuclear. 

I never understood the whole “Nuclear War – Be Prepared” mentality when I was a child, and it makes even less sense today.

The majority of my time at Elementary school was spent using an over-abundance of Flag-worship (where we decreed “One nation, under God,” which has been forsaken in the spirit of Political Correctness), and performing all the requisite Fire, Earthquake, Tornado, and Nuclear Drills inspired by “Duck and Cover” cartoons.

“Now you and I don’t have shells to crawl into like Bert the Turtle, so we have to cover up in our own way. First you duck, and then you cover. And very tightly, you cover the back of your neck.”

We all played along, getting down on the floor, underneath our little metal and formica desks, “Indian Style.” Of course, that specific name for sitting on your haunches has been replaced with “cross-legged” in the spirit of Politcal Correctness. The cartoon would continue…

“Remember what to do friends. Now tell me right out loud. What are you supposed to do when you see the flash?”

What we all know now is that if one is lucky enough to see the flash, then their retinas get burned out, and the back of their head just might catch on fire. But in unison, we all sang “Duck and Cover!” like good little Native Americans (in the spirit of Political Correctness — bah!).

Local news is continuing in the same vein of ludicrous paranoia, telling people to build bomb shelters in their homes from Clear Plastic, Aluminum Foil and Duct Tape (supermarkets are sold out of Bottled Water, Hormel Chili with Beans, Spam and Armour Potted Meat Product). I can’t help but make fun —- it’s asinine. They practically guarantee us safety by sealing off a small room in our home with Clear Plastic, Aluminum Foil and Duct Tape.

Anyone should be able to see that it’s silly, but paranoia most always prevails. It’s easy to imagine that in the event of an Earthquake, which could easily be mistaken for a Nuclear explosion, five million DC-area residents could be dead due to suffocation in their home-made “bomb shelter.”

“Duck and Cover” was fun. It was a silly, simplified cartoon that made the Nuclear threat seem not so bad. It empowered us to allay our fears, because we knew full well that if we did exactly like Bert the Turtle, we’d survive and be home in time to watch the 4PM cartoons.

This new information by the likes of ABC, CBS and NBC-network affiliates (we already expect this sort of silliness from Fox, so I didn’t include them in the list) is also fun. It’s a great dose of sarcastic humour when we know that the only solution is to “Sit down, put your head between your legs, and kiss your ass goodbye!” And regardless of whether we follow their instructions or not, we don’t have to worry about missing the 4PM cartoons these days — Cartoon Network guarantees us 24 hours of uninterrupted fun.

I prefer to watch it while sitting Indian-style.

“I’d ask the Minister whether … it’s appropriate in this case for a woman’s body parts to be inserted into a sheep when that’s normally been the domain of Tory males…”
— Grant Gillon, Alliance MP, New Zealand Parliament

     It was a serious day in Parliament on July 4th. One can imagine that the conversation regarding the cloning of human organs would have been rather dry had it not been for Alliance MP Grant Gillon, who delivered one of the best one liners NZ Parliament has seen in a good while.
     Most every Kiwi will agree that they’ve made a similar joke at least once in their lives. New Zealand’s media has made a farce of the situation, most notably TV3 and their coverage of the incident. Apparently, some people both in and out of Parliament are less than impressed, taking stances against “moral outrage” rather than having a laugh.

     Gillon rescinded the statement immediately and apologised for the joke, but this isn’t good enough for some MPs who seem more intent on continuing the mudslinging of late (not to mention the outrageous cries for “accountability”) rather than doing anything for the common good.
     Former Prime Minister Jenny Shipley seemed the most outraged at Gillon’s comment as she was interviewed by TV3. After first attacking Gillon’s behaviour she went on to explain her disdain, saying that “bestiality” is “pornographic,” and that this sort of behaviour, besides being illegal, was “intolerable.” Her language and use of pronouns made it unclear what, specifically, was illegal — the joke itself, making a joke in Parliament or buggering sheep.

     As if that weren’t ludicrous enough, other media reports have been offered regarding Gillon’s statements as being “sexist.”
     In defence of local media however, there was a later report that more than twenty years ago Gillon made a “sexist” statement in Parliament. Unfortunately, that was the entirety of the report, and it fails to elaborate the least bit. We are all left to wonder whether he did something direct like calling an up-and-coming Women’s activist a “bitch,” or whether he humorously vocalised his disdain at having Tampon commercials broadcasted during televised Rugby games.

     One has to wonder about peoples’ inability to take what Gillon said as the joke that it obviously was. Perhaps the ones most argumentative about it possess a guilty conscience.

     But someone said the comment was sexist…?

     Ok, fine… Maybe it’s not just the guys doing it…

Note: author of cartoon cannot be found, or s/he’d have credit.