Posts Tagged with "language"

Spanish Can Be as Confusing as English…

July 13th, 2013 at 5:23 pm by Mark
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I was nearly fluent in Spanish years ago. Now the only thing I can remember with any certainty is, “Tengo un bolígrafo rojo.” But I don’t really have a red pen… Or a red stapler, for that matter…

Fill Werrell: "Mi papá tiene 47 años = My dad is 47 years old. Mi papa tiene 47 anos = My potato has 47 assholes. I love spanish."

Thou Shalt Not Use Foul Language

February 17th, 2013 at 5:12 pm by Mark
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It’s tough not cursing around the kids, but somehow, I’ve managed! If anyone, regardless of who it was, ever managed to let something slip out, the three-year-old would always chastise them with, “Ahh-aww! You said a word!” Of course, she also learned to lie that her brothers and sisters said something — when they didn’t — just so she could steal whatever they were playing with while they were busy being in trouble, but that’s another story…

The five-year-old proudly announced, ”I don’t have to go school on Monday because it’s President’s Day! Tomorrow is Monday!” Since he’s been in Kindergarten and we’ve already been through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Inauguration Day and Groundhog Day, and he understood what all of those were, I decided to ask him, ”And what happens on President’s Day?” His head cocked sideways as he thought about it for a moment. But suddenly, you could see the lightbulb go off in his head. He looked like he was about to explode!  Excitedly, he explained, ”That’s when the President comes outside, and if he sees his shadow, then we have four more years of Bullshit!” Ya know ... I really hated giving him that spanking... *shakes head*

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Swearing Means You Don’t Have a Vocabulary?

January 15th, 2013 at 5:04 pm by Mark
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Many people object to swearing, claiming that it’s “common” and underscores a person’s lack of vocabulary. On the contrary, I find it profoundly useful for everything from accentuating urgency to emphasizing disbelief, or even futility.

The most prevalent use of “curse words” is in those instances where they posses the fundamental ability to transform an otherwise banal string of words (followed by an exclamation point) into a more honest and heartfelt interjection. In the following example, for instance, the subsequent revision shows us exactly how badly the subject was hurt, as well as giving the reader an emotional attachment to ‘Skip.’

Example Text:

“Ouch!” bellowed Skip.

Revised Text:

“Motherf#@$er!” Skip bellowed. “That f#@$ing hurt like a son-of-a-bitch! What the f#@$, man?!”

As for those who constantly express hateful intolerance to other adults who swear, or condescend them for their usage of this particular category of language, I will only vociferate, “Grow the f#@$ up, or f#@$ off!

"It's cute how you swear because you don't have a vocabulary."  "That's a fucking farcical and erroneous assertion."

Gay or Straight?

October 1st, 2012 at 9:14 pm by Mark
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That totally didn’t answer the question, did it? That said, I can’t remember the last time I described any woman’s breasts as “fantastic” …


Be Careful What You Ask For…

September 27th, 2012 at 5:34 pm by Mark
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Be careful what you ask for… You just might get it.