If you see this face in a personal ad, do what she did — run away!

     In case you were dead between April 26th and May 13th of 2005, I’ll recap.

     Duluth, Georgia resident, Jennifer “Deer in Headlights” Wilbanks (pictured above), was about to get married to her fiance, John Mason, in a lavish wedding of nearly seven hundred guests and attendants.
     However, shortly before she was to make the final leap to becoming Jennifer “Dear in Headlights” Mason, she decided to put on some sweats and go for a jog. By the way, do you know that some people are having a problem with excessive sweat? Good thing, there’s an Ultrasound therapy for it.   When she didn’t come back, everyone was worried.
     It made headlines immediately, the picture above being plastered all over every Newspaper, television channel and telephone pole in the continental United States.  Some Media asshats even went so far as to attempt to turn John Mason into another Scott Peterson — viciously accusing him of foul play in the disappearance.  
     The exhaustive search by authorities, family, friends and concerned citizens turned up nothing.  But four days later on April 30th, Jennifer called from a pay phone at a 7-11 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  She claimed to have been abducted against her will by a man and woman in a van, and that she had been sexually assaulted by the couple.
     Of course, none of that was true, as it turned out.  She’d simply run away, citing that she “needed some time alone.”  She also expressed amazement, saying she didn’t think anyone would be looking for her.

     As a fitting retort, Fox News had a nice little tidbit…

Ryan Kelly, owner of the Park Cafe, an eatery a few blocks from Wilbanks’ house that gave out coffee and sandwiches to searchers, said he was glad Wilbanks was alive and healthy.

“But that being said, this is one of the most selfish and self-centered acts I’ve ever seen. We saw her parents, and you could see the anguish in their eyes. It was terrible,” he said.

“I don’t care where you are — unless you’re in the Amazon rain forest, you’d know everybody was out looking for you.”

     Aside from ruining a wedding of nearly seven hundred people, Wilbanks exhausted State and Federal resources looking for her.  She caused her fiance considerable pain and suffering not only in disappearing and his fearing the worst, but he also had to put up with a Media Hell-bent on trying to pin him as a murderer.  The poor guy also ended up looking a fool for his tearful plea for her safe return.  She exhausted the time, money and resources of citizens groups who assisted in the search.  She wasted the Media’s time, in fact, and we all know what they charge to run a commercial.

     John Mason, however, stayed with her.  Well, for another year, anyway.  They finally broke up in May 2006.

     But in an interesting twist, it was revealed publicly yesterday that Wilbanks was suing Mr. Mason for $500,000.  Regan Media, who bought the rights to the “Runaway Bride” story, gave Mason $500,000.  He bought a house with it.  And, of course, in May, he kicked her out.
     But why did he get the money from Reagan Media instead of her?  Well, while Wilbanks was undergoing therapy (for being — in addition to stupid, selfish and a witch with a capital B — clinically nutso), she made another idiotic move — she made Mason, the guy whose life she turned upside down, her Power of Attorney.
     So now she’s suing for half the money, and another “$250,000 in punitive damages.”  She was even brazen enough to call Mason “overly litigous.”  And still complaining that he hasn’t returned a few wedding gifts — which she apparently used.

     Maybe I’m just mean … but at least $250,000 of that seems entirely frivolous.  As for the other half, there’s a bit of an argument for, too.
     Quite honestly, a ruined wedding of nearly seven hundred people isn’t cheap.  Neither is getting your story front page all over the country.  Nor stopping your entire life.  Nor hiring private investigators.  Nor him paying for her “medical care” over the last year.  Nor…
     And in the long run, surely there’s a cost for him … I mean, the mental anguish of it, being accused of murder, made to look like a fool, putting up with her dumb ass for the next year…
     Get the idea?

     “Overly litigous,” indeed …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD5ikU6-mDA

     The other day, Anton (from LR2) and I were talking about stupid headlines.  He says, “I saw a great one the other day…”

Women Have More Orgasms During Lesbian Sex than Men

     Once I stopped laughing, I responded with, “Yeah, I can see that.  Once most guys get it over with, they turn off the video.”  I mean, I certainly can’t think of any men who engage in Lesbian sex (I mean, past the occasional ménage à trois, which apparently doesn’t count as “lesbian”), but then, it’s a big world … so who knows?

     Unlike the last Media headline I loved, “Jets May Be Vulnerable to On-board Bombs,” I don’t have any screenshots or cut & pastes of the headline.  
     The original article, however, was real, and could be easily found from multiple sources ynder the titles, “Lesbians Have More Orgasms” and “Variety is the Spice of Sex Life.”

     AP, Reuters and miscellaneous others often change these sorts of absurd ambiguitues soon after they’re discovered.  However, it’s a good thing for us a lot of that many people under Media outlets’ employ aren’t proactive in doing it beforehand. 
     It gives us the occasional opportunity for a comical comeback!

     If ya find any good ones, send them to us!  If we find them equally amusing, we’ll post them and give you a link and a credit.

     Swanky did another article about Terrorism paranoia yesterday, but this time it’s one that I agree with.

Terrorists want to cause terror. We go nuts over every little thing and thus, they succeed, even when they fail i.e. the London liquid plane bombers. They were stopped and we still have to bring air traffic to a grinding halt and raise the panic level. The list of panicy non-threats is seemingly endless…
  .
  .
  .
I don’t mean to get all conspiritorial on ya, but, who benefits from this hightened sense of panic?

     And the unfortunate part is, I have an answer for that. 

     Media benefits.

     I didn’t intend for this Blog to be about Politics.  Quite honestly, I can’t stand Washington Politicians — they’ll sell us all out before it’s over with.  But one side is a little more responsible that the other when it comes to Media.

     The reason it’s called “Liberal Media” is because, well, they like to cozy up to the Party that’ll tell them what to print, which gives them less workload, and a cash kickback.  The opposing party doesn’t tell them what to print, and doesn’t give them a kickback, so Media will bitch and moan about the increased workload without increased cash.
     So, of course, they’re gonna cozy up to Washington Democrats, and claim, “Oh, Freedom of the Press is great!  And that other party?  They’ll don’t tell us anything, so they must be conspiring against us!”
     Nevermind that the actual problem is that they’re lazy and don’t know how to do good-ol’-fashioned journalism and dig for stories anymore.
     Bear with me, because this is coming from first-hand experience, having been a Media staff writer.  Oh, the number of times I’ve had articles hacked to death and all-but-rewritten by an editor with a Political agenda…
     It really is that sordid.

     Media benefits.

     Some people might say, “Oh, that’s all fine and good, but what about Foreign Media?  They have nothing to gain from sordid American politics!”
     Having worked for a foreign Media entity, I can explain that from first hand experience, as well.  In fact, they have even more to gain.

     Most other countries don’t have “free press.”  Instead, they have a Ministry-operated (i.e. Government) entities which distribute news that Government wants its people to hear.
     That said, Foreign Press tends to be extremely jealous of US Media, who rarely print anything without fear of retribution (cutting jobs, cutting budgets, etc.).  It’s because of that the US was called “Paper Tiger” in so many articles prior to its infamous use by Osama bin Laden.
     Associated Press and Reuters will pick up news from any associate in the world.  With most associates, nine times out of ten, if there’s a juicy story in a given country and a non-story which bashes America, they’ll pick door number two.  
     Even some of the of the British Commonwealths, who regularly sell their best products as export-only, do this sort of thing.  It’s the “underdog mentality,” where a Government can say, “Know why things are so piss poor here?  It’s because of those damn Americans!  Know why you’re paying three pounds a litre for gallon?  Those damn Americans!  And they’re no better than you — check out this headline!”
     It gives their citizens something to feel in common, gives them a common enemy — “Those damn Americans!”
     Four pounds a litre, yes.  3.79 litres per gallon.  Round-about $1.90 per British Pound.  Twenty-one dollars a gallon.  Sucks for them, eh?  But instead of greedy oil companies, they get to blame America for invading Iraq.

     So … Foreign Media (and foreign governments) sow the seeds of Paranoia, reporting everything that happens, with a spin of “America isn’t doing anything about it!” or “Look how America’s screwing up now!”
     AP and Reuters pick up on, and Washington Policians get on TV about it, and our lazy media doesn’t have to write its own stories — they get to embellish every bit of crap and garbage that the Foreign Media gave them.  And if they do a good job, they get a kickback.
     Sordid.  Pathetic.

     Free Press is Free Press.  In this country, have a choice, but they lack the ethics to handle themselves on their own.
     So next time you hear how “The Republicans are limiting our Civil Liberties!” take it with a grain of salt.  Media complains about that specific thing for one reason, and one reason only: there have been numerous bits of Legislation to try and curb their sordid behavior, and make them more responsible in their journalism.
     Go take a look at http://thomas.loc.gov/ and look at the Bills and Voting Records.  You might even find that those things are getting voted for on both sides of the fence.

     The paranoia is pandemic.  It’s politically motivated.

     On that note … I read that terrorist’s favorite Moonbat, Cindy Sheehan, organized another Anti-War Protest today.  What a sad, sad, non-story she is.
     Casey Austin Sheehan (29-May-1979 – 4-Apr-2004) died in Iraq.  He put on a uniform to serve and protect his country.  And when the War in Iraq broke out, he re-enlisted in order to promote Freedom around the globe.  He died doing what he wanted to do.  He is to be commended, and remembered, as both an honorable man and a patriot.

     When’s the last time she even mentioned his name during one of her protests?  When’s the last time that she told anyone that he re-enlisted to go to that war?  When’s the last time she said, “My son was a hero!  He died doing what he believed in!”
     She doesn’t give a damn about her son.  She’s a selfish, self-promoting moonbat who slanders his memory every time she starts one of her tirades.  She writes letters to Barbara Bush claiming, “Your son killed my son!”

     Your son is rolling in his grave, Ms. Sheehan.  Please stop disgracing his good name and crawl back under your rock.  Or your soccer-mom minivan.

     Philips Consumer Electronics has a bit of a “stodgy” reputation in the United States.  The miniscule number of ads that Philips has done over the years hasn’t made any iota of difference to anyone.  They’ve had a tendency to leave advertising of their consumer products up to retail merchants, who usually announce the products at a substantial discount or clearance.

     This time, it looks like they got it right.  This is a brilliant ad.

     Unfortunately, it comes without Media fanfare.  Without advertising to actually draw people to the site.

     Maybe one day they’ll get it.

     Ok, you have to see this scrape from Yahoo! News:

Full Coverage: Aviation Security

News Stories

• Electronics permitted onboard for U.S. travel  at Detroit Free Press, Aug 10
• At Metro Airport: Security lines thinning out  at Detroit Free Press, Aug 10
• New Security Rules Prompt Confusion  at The New York Times (reg. req’d), Aug 10
• Jets may be vulnerable to on-board bombs  AP via Yahoo! News, Aug 10

     That last headline kills me.  That is just … Wow.  Brilliant!

     Makes me wanna hire Matt Crenson, AP National Writer, and take advantage of his superior intellect.  I mean, with brains like that, he could be a Senator!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A18wmFzDG-o