Nine Inch Nails: We’re in This Together

     I’ll leave the write-up for later.

How in the hell do folks roll in a vehicle when the music is so damn loud I can hear it from inside my office when they are a mile or more away??

https://youtube.com/watch?v=R5_8qdzaPV4

Why am I concerning myself with such petty bullshit on a Friday afternoon, you ask?

Well, friends and neighbors, I’ll tell ya why. I just got set off like I have a fire cracker up my ass and it’s the 4th of July.

We have had our office location for nearly 7 years.  We are located between Fade to Black Barber Shop and Vogue Hair Salon. Our only source of entertainment here is to watch the old ladies wander in and out of their weekly hair appointments and listen to the drama/comedy coming from the barber shop next door.

I shit you not, it’s like a scene from “Coming to America” sometimes.  I love to sit here and listen to the shit flyin… but that’s not what’s on my mind today.  No.

What really gives me pain like a full on titty twister is when the good ‘ol boys next door come driving up with that shit blarin’ so loud that it rattles the windows in my office.

I’ve even had customers (mind you I work with Doctors and Researchers and other esteemed individuals worldwide) ask me why I don’t turn my music down before I bother the answer the phone.

I’ve busted out the front door of our office and sneered dirty looks that way.  How fucking hard is it to have a little common sense and public decency to turn that shit down to the point where your whole car isn’t shaking along with the ground under it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that these kids have something to prove to one another.  In addition, the music gets cranked way loud right in front of said barber shop, because I reckon they feel it impressive to the rest of humanity.

Personally, I think the louder and more abnoxious the music is, the smaller the dick of said music master is.

I am the type of person who requires some sort of white noise in the background at all times.  The news on while I’m cooking, the stereo on while I’m scrubbing the toilet, or even just the radio on while I’m driving. 

I was transporting my 16-year-old daughter to school today when Timberland’s, “The Way I Are” came piping through the speakers.  Have you ever listened to the words of this song? It’s a duet about a scrub and some skanky chick’s acceptance of his scrubiness.

I would like to take a moment to address Timberland and clear the air about what is acceptable, and what is not. 

It goes a little somethin’ like this:

*Verse 1* (Timberland)
I ain’t got no money
I ain’t got no car to take you on a date
I can’t even buy you flowers
But together we’ll be the perfect soulmates
Talk to me girl

Ok, first, if you have no money and no car, what are you gonna do?  Are you gonna walk to my house with the intentions of gettin’ a little lovin’?  And trust me, even if you were lucky enough to hitch a ride with a homey, even if you hit the bell with flowers in your hand, you still ain’t gettin none.  And to even consider that we might be soulmates is blasphemy.  Soulmates are connected.  I gots a job, I gots a ride.  Accept your destiny, pal,  walkin and beatin off.

*Bridge* (The chick)
Oh, baby, it’s alright now, you ain’t gotta flaunt for me
If we go there, you can still touch my love, it’s free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out ’til we get it right

Now, I’m no gold-digger by any means.  But, if the boy ain’t got a job, money, or car, what hell would he have to flaunt in the first place?  And to think she’s gonna consider “going there” with him… for free… without the perks?  What perks?  Massage oil?  Happy Jack Rabbit?  Sweet Jesus.  I am going out on a limb here… she’s got to be very horny and/or very desperate to reproduce.

Let’s skip her part from here on out.  It’s repetition of the previous desparation and her forgiveness of his slackeristic nature.  Let us explore the remaining 2 verses of this mockery of man-li-ness.

*Verse 2*
I ain’t got no Visa
I ain’t got no Red American Express
We can’t go nowhere exotic
It don’t matter ’cause I’m the one that love you best
Talk to me girl

I wouldn’t care much that there is no plastic, so long as he has a J-O-B that results in some sort of cash flow.  It’s nice if a man has the money to give birthday and Christmas presents that aren’t from a Cracker Jack box along with small tokens of his affection through-out the year.
No exotic trips?  It’s mandatory to go somewhere to have sex, other than ones own bedroom, at least occassionally.  A trip to the Keys.  A trip to Vegas. Sex is good in Vegas.  But, still he spouts that he’s the one she loves best.  Again, most likely her poor self image.  Get therapy.

*Verse 3*  (The finale)
Baby girl, I don’t got a huge ol’ house
I rent a room in a house
Listen baby girl, I ain’t got a motorboat
But I can float ya boat
So listen baby girl, once you get a dose of D.O.E.
You gon’ want some mo’
So listen baby girl, when I make it
I want you back, want you back, yeah

He rents a room.  Nice.  A room in a house where other people live.  Which means either the home owners are going to hear the headboard bangin’ and the naughty sounds coming from the room or we’ll only be gettin busy in my house.  Uh, No.

No boat floating from  you until you get a job, a car, flowers, some select pieces of jewelery.

     I am not, nor have I ever been, a fan of Harry Potter.

     Although, I have to admit, those movies were slightly more enjoyable than sitting through hours and hours of Lord of the Rings without so much as an intermission… Watching a movie is never fun coupled with excruciating kidney pain because you’re afraid you’ll miss something crucial or interesting (which, as it turns out, was pretty impossible with Fellowship of the Ring, anyway).

     (Blasphemy?  Yeah, maybe.  Sue me!)

     But while we’re on Rap…

     I really should go to bed…

     Snoop Doggy Dogg did that Gin & Juice song a few years, and it was apparently quite popular.  *shrug*  Not my thing…

     Richard Cheese follows up the hit with a Lounge version…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHeFVS6rzJU

     But nothing can beat The Gourds version…

     Now that’s Classic Country…