Twins are certainly not as rare as they used to be, occurring in approximately 1 in 300 births, but most are dizygotic — fraternal twins. Only around 31% of those twins are monozygotic — identical twins. Still, when you mentions twins, people automatically think of the more rare form: “But they don’t look anything alike!”

Barry was utterly baffled at the bizarre request his wife had made the night before, but in the interest of marital harmony, he begrudgingly decided to surprise her as she returned home from work that afternoon. Still, as with every other act of kindness, he was certain she’d find fault with it…

My favorite is during Snow season, when I tell everyone, “I got nine inches. The wife’s really happy.”

Question: If they’re made by Proctor & Gamble, does it count as Oral Sex?

For kinkier positions, it’s also recommended to use lots and lots of toothpaste.

It’s amazing the excuses people come up with as to why they have affairs, but this one takes the cake.

She seduced him with fries. So he gave her the Whopper.