Posts Tagged with "tiki"

I Hate When My Chocolate Milk Turns Into a Tiki God

May 5th, 2013 at 5:53 pm by Mark
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The Moai of Easter Island are not impressed…

I'm sorry I dropped you. Stop giving me that look!


September 22nd, 2006 at 12:43 pm by Mark
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     Back in July, Swanky had his meticulously planned First Annual Luau at his place.  Sure, maybe it’s a little presumptuous, thinking that it’s gonna be an Annual event, but it was truly a great party.
     A *lot* of people showed up (sixty-plus) to eat and drink heavily, and everyone played nice together.  Where else but Swanky’s Annual Luau are you gonna get sixty people together and not end up with a fight, hurt feelings or annoyance?  (Note the hint, Swanky)

     The next day after cleaning up the yard — kudos to the conscientious crowd who knew how to decently dispose of their debris — the DogCats were extremely affectionate.
     Now, if you’re not familiar with the DogCats, they’re a couple of rather large Maine Coon Cats who play fetch, stand up, chase cars, attack strangers who come into yard and Rottweilers being walked by their owners.  Just imagine your average German Shepherd with needle-sharp teeth and razor claws, and that’s pretty much their overall demeanor.
     After a nice session of fetch with the branches in the yard, the younger of the two decided to take a rest from which little could stir him.  Swanky threw a branch on him.  The younger younger DogCat flinched, bit it a couple of times, and laid back down.
     This, of course, prompted Swanky, Ms. Swanky and I to start throwing more on him.


     Of course, the fun didn’t stop there.  He just laid there while we added more and more.


     “Oh, man, this is great!  It’s Catmouflage!” I said as I piled a few more on.
     The laughter brought the elder DogCat closer to observe the situation.


     If I didn’t didn’t mention it before, yeah, the DogCats can talk, too.  I think his exact words were, “Umm… what the Hell are you people doing?  Umm … You realize you three are idiots, right?”

     Of course, he went to check on his younger sibling, who appeared to be quite “dead” at the time….


     …however, his concern was met with a sharp tag on the nose by his little brother’s outstretched paw.

     We continued, but the very last branch, much larger than the rest, was enough for him.


     One flip, and he walked right out.


     And that was that.

     Note to PETA and the SPCA: No DogCats were harmed during this excercise.  Neither were any sheep or rams.  Please do not attempt with normal cats.

     Good times, good times…

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The Tiki of Unlimited Abundance

January 10th, 2006 at 9:54 am by Sam
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Tiki of Unlimited Abundance Monty, being a faithful follower of the goings-on of TikiCentral, found a great post by Book of Tiki author, Sven Kirsten.

Apparently, images from his book (along with artwork from several other artists) have been used by an unknown direct mailer, intent on selling their good-luck charm to 83-year-old ladies.

Says Sven:

I feel very conflicted, since this is the funniest thing I have ever come across, right up my alley, along the lines of the Church of Subgenius and other cult parodies. As a matter of fact, it is like taking the mock scientific style of my book to its logical conclusion, pronouncing it to be a REAL cult! Yet I fear that there is a remote possibility that someone will actually buy into this stuff, even though the text and concept are so far out there, it all seems like a joke. Let’s hope no one does.

A good attitude, considering he could probably get a tidy little sum for the flagrant copyright infringement — even the photo of the so-called “Great Magus Haapape Tuarii,” who looks nothing like the Maori he claims to be, is actually ripped from page 160 of the Book of Tiki: a mere waiter at the legendary Mai Kai.

Check it out…