Archive for July, 2006

Pestering Pastafarians

July 31st, 2006 at 6:32 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

     The book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, looks to be a great read!  It’s an elaborate parody of Intelligent Design:

CAN I GET A “RAMEN” FROM THE CONGREGATION?!

Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
     .
     .
     .
Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)

     The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s website has, of course, been targeted by many people who are unable to take a joke.
     Fortunately, they’ve opened up their hate-mail archive to the public.  It’s also fortunate that we have idiots like Casey Powell to give us something to laugh about.

     [ of course, I have to thank Swanky for pointing me towards all of this — good stuff! ]

      Some people have little else to do but send ludicrous hate mail, due in no small part but that so many people have little room for humor in their day-to-day lives.  It’s sad.
     Me, I get some local psychotic nutjob sending me scathing e-mails and blog comments claiming that I’m the father of her five-year-old child (an impossibility, given the fact that I lived in another country at the time).
     Others get morons like Casey Powell, who profess Christianity while sending vulgar and abusive e-mails, threaten lawsuits because the owner posted them publicly, and finally come out and deny that it was him at all — no, in fact, it was his evil twin.
     I should introduce Casey to Laney.  
     Laney would dig Casey’s methods with a dumbfounded, “Suing that guy for posting your own comments and claiming it was someone else who made them?  Why didn’t I think of that?”
     And sure Casey would dig her whole birth-without-sex story, which would surely remind him of the Gospel of Matthew.

     Their union and subsequent child just might be enough to signal the Coming of the Great While Colander.

Antidisestablishmentarianist Attacks Moonbats

July 27th, 2006 at 7:15 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , , ,

     LR2 posted a great link today to The Best Page in the Universe.

     It’s no secret what I think of 9/11 Revisionist morons.  Faced with hard evidence and eyewitness accounts, they are stupid enough to simply ignore the fact that more than a few people saw, let’s say, a plane hit the Pentagon, for instance.
     But Maddox hit the nail on the head — with a sledgehammer, mind you.  That Glenn Beck / $100 Bill folding bit is freaking brilliant!

     As far as I’m concerned, these “Loose Change” asshats are case in point that Condoms are only 97% effective when used properly.