Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sixth

May 6th, 2015 at 5:56 pm by Mark
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Just a PSA … Rolling down the street, smoking Endor, sipping on Qui-Gon Gin and Jawa juice is a great way to get pulled over…

Star Wars Qui-Gon Gin

May the Fourth Be With You on Cinco de Mayo?

May 5th, 2015 at 5:35 pm by Mark
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If you opened a fifth on the fourth, you might consider having a Margarita to sedate the hangover…

As May the Fourth gives way to Cinco de Mayo, I present to you: JUAN SOLO

Star Wars Day: May the Fourth Be With You

May 4th, 2015 at 5:06 pm by Mark
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As much I am a Star Wars dork, I consider “Revenge of the Fifth” to be the next day or two after opening any given bottle of liquor…

Is Today is "May the 4th Be With You" Does That Mean Tomorrow is Revenge of the 5th?"

Another Reason Not to Go to the Dentist

April 23rd, 2015 at 5:52 pm by Mark
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I’d pass on this dentist, unless, of course, I was into fifty shades of Two Girls, One Cup…

Dentists Sign: "Howard Family Dental: 'We Do Our Business In Your Mouth,'  Kevin Ritola, DMD, 159 Altama Connector, Brunswick, GA

Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC

Tinkerbell Pancake Fail

April 22nd, 2015 at 5:33 pm by Mark
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Pinterest gives people all sorts of great ideas for failure these days.

Tinkerbell Pancake Fail: "Looks fine to me!"