Tags: conservative, humor, liberal, moonbats, philosophy, psychos, religion
I recently cleaned out some of my old hard drives and found something I wrote a while ago but never shared. A little something to think about when things get you down, moonbats drive you nuts, or you are fed up with everything.
A Simple Analysis of 20th Century Thought:
- Capitalism, he who dies owns the most toys wins.
- Hari Krishna, he who plays with the most toys wins.
- Catholicism, he who denies himself the most toys and little boys wins.
- Anglican, the boys were our toys first.
- Atheism, there is no toy or boy maker.
- Polytheism, there are many toy or boy makers.
- Evolutionism, the toys made themselves.
- Church of Christian Scientist, we are the toys.
- Communism, everyone gets the same number of toys and you are in big trouble if we catch you selling your toys or playing with them.
- B’hai, all your toys and are fine by us.
- Amish, toys with batteries are surely a sin.
- Protesting Moonbatism, war toys are evil.
- Good Ole Lefty, toys that are violent are to be rounded up and put into camps in order to become nonviolent toys.
- Taoism, the stuffed rabbit is as important as the dump truck.
- Mormonism, every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
- Voodoo, let me borrow that doll for a while.
- Hinduism, he who plays with plastic farm animals loses.
- Seventh Day Adventist, he who plays with toys on Saturday loses.
- Southern Baptist, if your toy is Disney product, you have a one-way ticket to hell.
- Jehovah’s Witness, he who sells the most toys door to door wins.
- Pentecostalism, he whose toys can speak wins.
- Existentialism, toys are a figment of your imagination.
- Confucianism, once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
- Non-Denominationalism, we don’t care where the toys come from lets just play with them.
- Agnosticism, it is not possible to know whether the toys make a bit of difference.
- Unitarian Universalism, we still have not decided if the toys exist, much less how, where, or who made them.
Isn’t that nice?