In general, women are emo-kids in adult wrappers. At least I am, and I know alot of other women (my age, younger and older) that are the same way.
Everybody has baggage. By the time you make it into your mid-30’s, if you don’t have baggage, you must not have been doing a very good job at having a life. Many folks, men and women, by the mid-30’s have been married, had children and (in many cases) suffered through an ugly divorce or split with a significant other.
I for one have dished out my fair share (if not much, much more) of questions as to whether my significant other really loves me. I’ve tried to push him away several times, because it’s easier to let go and hurt a little than to really fall in love and get hurt ALOT in the end.
Why did I hit him with the ever present question, “Do you love me?” “Why do you love me?”????
Because I had a life, a past. And the experience wasn’t all good. Not that my life was stricken with hardship on a constant basis, but I was married to a man who had no clue about anything but drugs and video games. Yes, I chose to stay in it a lot longer than was advised. Yes, I could have packed up and left. But, I married him, and I was hellbent to stick with it or die. He was nice to me when he wanted something from me. Otherwise, he said little and did even less.
Then I grew up. I realized it wasn’t healthy and I had to get out. So, I got out. But I found out I had trust issues when I finally jumped. My significant other has NEVER done the first thing to make me think he’s going to hurt or leave me. He has never done anything but open doors for me and treated me like I am his equal.
Could I accept that? Simply put, no.
I ass-u-me (d) that there was no man out there that is genuine. There was no man out there that could really love me, for rowdy old me. There was no man out there that really would ask how my day went just because he wanted to share a few minutes together after work. ETC, ETC, ETC….. the list could go on forever.
A woman wants to be happy with a man. Companionship, intimacy… yes, please. But sometimes getting her to accept that not all men are the same is a real challenge. Even if she knows it’s true. Her past may be a horrible, scary monster that must be slayed before she can go on. It can be done if there is room to work on these things in the relationship. If not, it’s doomed, go on.
Men can carry the same baggage, but due to ego and other manly things, it may not be as apparent.