I’ve popped the tops off of plenty of ketchup and mustard, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t mind facing a Federal pension. 😉

Warning: NSFW (Language)

Perhaps Jessica doesn’t care for his incessant references to Star Wars. Perhaps she’s worried about his obsessive attention to fantasy. Perhaps it’s disheartening that he won’t take “no,” for an answer. But the primary reason Jessica doesn’t want to be with him is because he WANTS TO CUT HER OPEN, PULL OUT HER GUTS AND CLIMB INSIDE HER TO KEEP WARM! WHAT THE FUCK?!

As mentioned in my bio, I have a PsychoMagnet™ permanently implanted in my body. It’s not some cheaply made PsychoMagnet™ that merely attracts people who scream nonsense and drivel for no apparent reason. In fact, this is a top-of-the-line model that makes for some rather interesting situations on a daily basis, thanks in no small part to random strangers who are drawn in from all walks of life. It also has the added discomfort of giving me a positively terrifying dating life. Being a surprisingly laid back, go with the flow, kind of guy, this video helped clarify exactly where I’ve kept going wrong. [ Possibly NSFW ]

Having been a systems administrator at several Internet Dating sites, I’ve often pondered the question: if they have Multiple Personality Disorder, does it count as Group Sex?