Posts Tagged with "spam"

End Email Spam Gender Bias Now!

August 21st, 2012 at 5:05 pm by Mark
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The old demographics, showing that 92% of Internet users were male, no longer apply given that it’s 2012 and Internet and Email usage is pretty proportionate between men and women. So why do we all still get the penis enlargement emails?

Even Don Blast Wants Me Dead

January 12th, 2009 at 8:56 pm by Mark
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     Amongst all the usual death threats I get on a regular basis from a very specific group of butt-monkeys who have little else to do with their lives, I found this rather amusing tidbit sitting in my Spam Folder:

Am very sorry for you my friend, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don’t comply. As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don’t have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL/ASSASINATE you and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.

Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that he want you dead and he provided us with your name, picture and other necessary information’s we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent.

I called my client back and ask him of you email address which I didn’t tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW. REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, IN CASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.

DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:30PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD AFTER YOU HAVE COMPLIED WITH MY DEMANDS, THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

Regards
Don Blast

     The funniest thing about this is that regardless of the fact that it’s a complete sham, this pathetic Nigerian scam artist has managed, even with his broken English, to compose an e-mail using better spelling, grammar and punctuation than every single one of the “usual” perpetrators from Southeast Kentucky.

     That makes me laugh. 😉

Stock Photos

Barak Ospama Owes Me Money!

October 13th, 2008 at 2:45 pm by Mark
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     Obama recently went off on McCain for his lack of technical prowess.  Meanwhile, Obama has “his people” set up a blog, a twitter, a MySpace, and bunch of other Web 2.0 garbage that I am 100% certain he has no idea how to use, himself.  And it really ticks me off, because it is then used to harass and annoy people who don’t want it.

     And this right here is where’s it’s an issue.  Obama keeps going off that McCain is “out of a touch” with technology and living in a world of twenty-there years ago, and yet Obama is out of touch with the very laws he’s being paid to help to shape and mould — and even then, doesn’t show up for work most of the time.

     Federal Statutes have declared that Campaign E-mails soliciting for donations fall under the category of “Commercial E-Mail.”  I have received no less than three of these e-mails per day for the last month — all from Barak Obama.  Despite my having opted out.  Multiple times.  To no avail.

     Here’s the basis of the Federal CAN-SPAM Law:

  • It bans false or misleading header information.
  • It prohibits deceptive subject lines.
  • It requires that your email give recipients an opt-out method.
  • It requires that commercial email be identified as an advertisement and include the sender’s valid physical postal address.

     And it appears that there’s only one of those items the Obama campaign hasn’t broken!

     Oh, and it carries with it fines of up to $11,000 per violation, raking in a conservative estimate of nearly ten million dollars that Barak Obama owes in fines, plus State Recompense and the FTC-Imposed Civil Fees, which means that Barack Obama owes me $45,900.

     So McCain is out of touch with Technology … Obama is out of touch with Law, and the spirit of it.

     Which one’s the bigger sin?

     No way in Hell will I vote for someone who’s as notorious as Sanford “Spamford” Wallace.

     So seriously, Mr. Ospama, stop adding me to MySpace!  Don’t follow me on Twitter!  And first and foremost, quit sending me these damn e-mails!  And get out that check book — I could really use it right now, so I’ll settle for an even $45,000.

FIX: Pyzor 0.4.0’s Discover Problem

July 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pm by Mark
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     If you’re using Pyzor to help you block spam (a lot of people use it alongside SpamAssassin), then you’ve probably run into these nasty “pyzor: check failed: internal error” messages in your maillog since July 21st.
     After digging into on my own a bit, I found two things.  The first was the “InternalError” was being caused by a corrupt “servers” file that contained nothing but “File Not Found” information.  The second was that the “discover” command line was returning:

downloading servers from http://pyzor.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/inform-servers-0-3-x
Traceback (most recent call last):
  File “/usr/bin/pyzor”, line 4, in ?
    pyzor.client.run()
  File “/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/pyzor/client.py”, line 991, in run
    ExecCall().run()
  File “/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/pyzor/client.py”, line 185, in run
    self.servers  = self.get_servers(servers_fn)
  File “/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/pyzor/client.py”, line 410, in get_servers
    servers.read(open(servers_fn))
  File “/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/pyzor/client.py”, line 119, in read
    self.append(pyzor.Address.from_str(line))
  File “/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/pyzor/__init__.py”, line 458, in from_str
    fields[1] = int(fields[1])
IndexError: list index out of range 

     Obviously, linking to non-existent files, especially in the /cgi-bin/ directory, is a bad thing.

     As a temporary measure, simply disable your “pyzor discover” cron job, and manually add “82.94.255.100:24441” into your “servers” file (wherever it may be with your configuration).

Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC

FIX: WordPress 2.5 / Akismet 2.1.4

May 14th, 2008 at 11:59 am by Mark
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     There’s a stopper-style bug in the the latest Akismet plugin for WordPress.  If you have multiple pages of Spam Comments, it keeps returning the first fifty — not good if you get as much Spam as we do, as we have to periodically check for false positives.
     The fix is easy…

     In Akismet 2.1.4, change wp-content/plugins/akismet/akismet.php, line 483 from:

        $comments = akismet_spam_comments( $current_type );

     to

        $comments = akismet_spam_comments( $current_type, $page );

     And Enjoy.  😉