Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s website has, of course, been targeted by many people who are unable to take a joke.
Fortunately, they’ve opened up their hate-mail archive to the public. It’s also fortunate that we have idiots like Casey Powell to give us something to laugh about.
Some people have little else to do but send ludicrous hate mail, due in no small part but that so many people have little room for humor in their day-to-day lives. It’s sad.
Me, I get some local psychotic nutjob sending me scathing e-mails and blog comments claiming that I’m the father of her five-year-old child (an impossibility, given the fact that I lived in another country at the time).
Others get morons like Casey Powell, who profess Christianity while sending vulgar and abusive e-mails, threaten lawsuits because the owner posted them publicly, and finally come out and deny that it was him at all — no, in fact, it was his evil twin.
I should introduce Casey to Laney.
Laney would dig Casey’s methods with a dumbfounded, “Suing that guy for posting your own comments and claiming it was someone else who made them? Why didn’t I think of that?”
And sure Casey would dig her whole birth-without-sex story, which would surely remind him of the Gospel of Matthew.
Their union and subsequent child just might be enough to signal the Coming of the Great While Colander.
It’s no secret what I think of 9/11 Revisionist morons. Faced with hard evidence and eyewitness accounts, they are stupid enough to simply ignore the fact that more than a few people saw, let’s say, a plane hit the Pentagon, for instance.
But Maddox hit the nail on the head — with a sledgehammer, mind you. That Glenn Beck / $100 Bill folding bit is freaking brilliant!
As far as I’m concerned, these “Loose Change” asshats are case in point that Condoms are only 97% effective when used properly.
Our newest design, the These Aren’t the Breasts You’re Looking for t-shirts, harken back to the scene in Star Wars (Episode IV) when we see Obi-Wan Kenobi use the Jedi Mind Trick for the first time. (truly, it was the first indication of the force)How suave was old Ben Kenobi with his British accent, powerful eyes, and a little hand wave? Who didn’t want to be him?
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STAR WARS FANBOYS! Don’t let nature stop you from having a good laugh. Think about how much funnier this shirt is on you, with your man-breasts or your total lack of boobage. You too can use the force (who knows…these t-shirts might even help you take home a Star Wars Fan Girl to meet your mom…JK!)
Brilliant shirt. As a matter of fact, I can think of one friend right away who’d love to wear one when she goes out, although, she’d never get that it was a Star Wars line.
Dan at SouthSEO (which may be under construction at the moment) sent me a link to hilarious fan film, featuring Darth Vader as supermarket manager (tip to The Age).
On that note, don’t forget to check out the Vader Sessions — link courtesy of another The Age reader. Someone did a great job re-dubbing the original Star Wars with audio from other James Earl Jones movies.
The best bit comes in when Vader goes to get the TIE Fighter pilots to help him take out the Rebel fighters in the trench: “I’d like to maintain the current level of Black representation on the committee… so let’s go for a stroll.”
