Mixed Signals

July 12th, 2006 at 10:56 am by Mark
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     I have a lot of friends, and roughly seventy percent of them are women.  I’m seriously thinking that invites trouble.
     It’s no secret that women can be very competitive when it comes to Men and dating in general.  It’s very confusing sometimes when, after a conversation with the gist, “Don’t wanna date, not ready, no, I don’t wanna have sex,” how some women will try and push that boundary to no end.  And it’s even more baffling when they come right out and say, “I’m falling in love with you.”
     Now, this hasn’t happened only once.  It’s happened four times in the last month, and is usually attributed to my giving “mixed signals,” or being called “a player.”  Nothing could be further from the truth.

     After being with the ex for seven years, the rules of having women as friends must have changed dramatically.  Apparently, there was an article in Cosmo or Redbook that I missed.  It was probably entitled “How To Tell If He’s Interested When He Says He Isn’t.”
     Number three on that list must have been, “When he gets up to go to the kitchen, he asks if you’d like anything.”  Number one was most certainly, “He answers the phone when you call.”

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5 Responses to “Mixed Signals”

  1. swanky Says:

    Maybe it’s pheremones. It’s been pretty hot lately and we’re all sweating a little more.

    What are these women used to? Gangsta pimp playas from the OG trailer park, that slap a beyatch down daily? Country bumpkins that come home drunk at 7AM after huntin’ with the buddies and are prone to sweet nothings like “Bust dis pimple on my ass and fix me some eggs”?

    “Want something to drink while I’m up?” is comin’ on pretty damn strong dude! Mr. Smooth!

  2. Ima Says:

    I would like to think Im in that percentage of female friends that you have. Hopefully this wont burst your bubble but Im not falling in love with you *sigh*. FYI there was no article nor email that you missed. Furthermore, I am very perceptive and havent picked up on any ‘mixed signals’ nor anything that I would label you as a ‘player’.

    Fact is fact… nice, respectful, intelligent men are hard to find. Your motives for friendship are unique from most men. You enjoy the company of a woman and for nonsexual reasons and you arent gay (LOL sorry couldnt help that comment). Conversation,as well as, curling up with a movie are high upon your lists of things to share with a friend. Women want to be wanted for other reasons than sexual. We want someone that is thoughtful and considerate ( …ie… asking if we would like anything as you go to the kitchen). Sometimes that is all it takes to make a woman start feeling special and wanting more.

    Women are human (believe that or not) and sometimes believe that ‘actions speak louder than words’. Therefore, a woman hears your words of, “Don’t wanna date, not ready, no, I don’t wanna have sex,” along with the actions of being considerate as “I really like you but not ready to admit that. Im just saying I dont want sex to make you realize I like you for you’. It all comes back to men and women view things from completely different perspectives. Women think with their heart and most men think with….. well never mind.

    Furthermore, this isnt isolated to ‘women’. Apparently psychos exist within both sexes. However, you cant give up and classify all women in that category. If I classified all men in the same category……. just imagine which one you would be in.

    Pssst…. answering my calls benefit you as much as they do me 😛

  3. Mark Steel Says:

    Well, thanks for the compliments, however, my keen powers of observation tell me that you must want something. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re worried about missing another exciting episode of Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet tomorrow night. *snicker*

    No, I don’t think that all women are nutjobs and psychobitches. However, I do note a disproporrtionate amount of overly dramatic, emotional illogic coming from approximately 52% of the population than from my 48% percentile.

    However, given the rapidly increasing number of metrosexuals, it is within the realm of possibility that we may catch up.

  4. Lisa Says:

    Hey, Mark!

    I just wanted you to know that I’m crazy in love with you and I can’t live wihout you! From this moment forward I will stalk you every Tuesday and Thursday evening from 4:16 til 8:27. I will stalk you on Sunday after 2:00 if it’s raining otherwise I will be at the pool. This, of course, will change once fall weather get’s here and I can no longer be at the pool.

    Thanks, Lisa.

  5. Mark Steel Says:


    Thank you in advance for being so forthcoming! This information — along with a restraining order, a shock collar, tinfoil, invisible fencing, a few sharp sticks and some duct tape — will be used to develop a contingency plan should the need arise.

    I sincerely appreciate your candor in this matter.