When browsing to my favorite news provider, sometimes I realize a screenshot is worth a million words:
I recalled a beer once. But now I forget…
So…
Should I order the cheeseburger, or the beer?
On second thought, I’ll skip it.
Right now, I can’t afford to pay attention.
Amusingly, WhoreChurch has awarded blogitude.com the Excellent Blog award due to the following reason:
Mark gets the award because he would beat me up if I didn’t give him the award.
While the reasoning is patently untrue (I’d be more likely to beat him for saying I’m “not unavailable” *snicker*) the award — and thought — is appreciated.
And thus, I pass the Award along to these five:
So, kudos, ya’ll. Pass it on to five more. 😉
UPDATE: 7:16PM EST
Ok, I just noticed that it’s supposed to be TEN, not FIVE. I am a dork.
And so, in keeping it Local, I’ll add to the list the Usual Suspects:
Enjoy!
I’d like to propose a new Holiday.
Let’s let February 20th be the new, annual “Quit Trying to Make Fill-In-Your-Name-Here Have a Bad Day Day.” (e.g. “Quit Trying to Make Mark Steel Have a Bad Day Day”)
That would be cool. One day, where nobody’s trying to screw up legal processes, steal from, yell at, scream at, libel, slander, backstab, screw over or generally just act asshats to everyone else in the world.
Sounds like a cool thing, doesn’t it?
But man … on a day like that…
Government, Comcast, and most banks would cease to function.
For a few years, my Messenger has been filled with so-called Customers who bother me whenever I get online. They ask for help, often ask me to login to their servers remotely and fix things, and when it comes time to pay, I get the old, “When I make money, you make money!” thing.
It ires me to no end.
A few others have said, “Hey, we’ll pay you $x to do this website for us,” and then used the old, “We haven’t been paid for it yet,” trick. Months pass, my questions get ignored, and then they have the balls to come and ask me to do more things for them. And stupidly, I have.
Still others have said, “We’re hiring you at $x a week, and we expect at least y hours out of you. Are you game?”
“Certainly!”
I get their billing information, they get their login and password to the billing system and go in and enter a credit card like they’re supposed to. The scam usually works when their credit card won’t bill, and they ask me to switch them to PayPal billing, which I do. They don’t bother to pay that one, so I send them an invoice through PayPal. They don’t bother with that one, either, and meanwhile, they change their passwords on their servers. Scam are all over the Internet. Case in point are those websites that say they can predict your future or read cards for you from across countries. But we know better now, so here’s how to spot a fake psychic.
It’s really annoying, trying to do business with people whose faces you never see, or people who are too far away to get hold of and rip their arms off when they do something like that.
Tonight, one of the standard “When I make money, you make money” freeloaders got an eyefull:
Mark says:
Man, ya know, it’s really bugging me lately. I’m a consultant. It’s what I do for a living. And I just can’t just answer and fix servers for free all the time. I’m just not doing that anymore. It costs $xxx an hour, and I’ve given you something like 12 hours or more and you’ve always said, “When I make money, you make money!” Well, ya know, after a hundred times, it becomes bullshit.Mark says:
Now fuck off.Captain Asshat says:
hey! but I’m not getting paid for this job!
have a nice life loserMark says:
Yeah, a loser who you keep asking to fix your servers for free.
Really, knowing that Captain Asshat has never paid me a dime for the work I’ve done — even when he’s said he would — how could he expect anything less? And, yeah, I have been a loser in the fact that I’ve lost every bit of revenue he’s promised after I’ve stupidly prioritized him above customers who actually do pay their bills.
So maybe I’m a loser — he’s still a deadbeat.
And why should I listen to, “That’s poor customer service!” from an asshat who hasn’t even been a customer? I mean, by definition, customers usually pay.
So, Captain Asshat, seriously… As far as “Customer Service,” my skills are absolutely excellent — ask any of my customers who actually pay per agreement.
Now, it’s not that anyone has to pay me to be nice to people. It’s just that… well… I’m friendly. I’m extremely helpful.
As a matter of fact, I’ve been too nice. Too helpful. Too willing to let too many people take advantage of me.
As far as my business goes … That ends now. 😉
I’m more assertive when I’m working for someone else, and I’m not when I’m working for myself. That’s a fact.
There’s a point where you have to be an asshole, and start weeding out the freeloaders. That time past a long time ago, and I have a lot of catching up to do. *evil grin*
And if you’re not paying me to do any of my “outstanding” work (your words, not mine), you’re gonna get what you pay for as far as “customer service.” 😉
Moonbats and Asshats were certainly rife on Super Tuesday.
For weeks to come, we’ll keep hearing political commentary from people who have about as much grasp on politics as Pope does on WWII History.
*cough*
As I was voting with a change of Address and voting venue, I was at the polls for quite a while watching and listening to people. It’s an adamantly blue-collar, pro-union district, so naturally there are a lot of blue voters, especially of the “Damn Yankee!” variety — the type who get “Damn” attached to the beginning of their titles because they won’t go home. *snicker*
So I began to take notes of some of the conversations I overheard while waiting…
“What do you mean Democrat or Republican? How should I know? I wanna vote for Obama. Is he a Republican or a Democrat?”
Words cannot begin to describe my disdain for this particular style of voting. As surely as there’s lonely brain cell left to rattle around in a nearly empty skull, you should know something so basic about the person you’re giving your support to run the country.
“Oh, god, you know I’m a Democrat. Republicans are stupid. Hey, do I have to sign my name here where it says?”
I thought to myself, “No, just put an X, dipshit.”
“The only reason you won’t support Cinton is because you’re a man! I am sick to death of all the latent misogyny by the patriarchal anti-Clinton camp!”
No, apparently she wasn’t quite “sick to death,” as I could still hear her. It’s funny to me how it never occurrs to some people that it’s Hillary-bashing, not Woman-bashing. Which brings me to next part:
“You won’t vote for Obama ’cause you’re a racist!”
Umm … Ok. Of course, the same guy came out and said:
“Man, I voted for Hillary.”
*shakes head* So, uhh… He’s a racist? And proud of it?
Which brings up another:
“I scrolled to Obama and hit Cast Ballot. And the screen came up and said ‘Thank you for your vote.’ I think I messed up. Can I do it again? No? Man, you all are racist!”
Ya know… I just… How the… Why… *shakes head*
On a similar note:
“Uh, it says to press the Enter button. Is that the big green one that says Enter?”
I thought about saying, “Nah, it’s the big red one that says, ‘Cast Ballot,'” but since the last guy who made that mistake nearly went postal, I decided to just stand there and shake my head a while longer…
Finally, with my Failsafe paperwork approved, I was able to rejoin the line and make my way up to the registry official.
“Democrat or Republican?” the official asked the guy in front of me.
“Republican,” he whispered as quietly as possible.
“REPUBLICAN?” the official yelled.
“Uh, yeah, yeah,” he whispered, glancing nervously towards the jeers from around him.
He signed his name. He walked, with an, “Excuse me,” through the crowd and over to the Voting Booths. He cast his vote. He walked out.
When it was my turn, I did the same.
But I still wonder where all the animosity comes from.
If having different opinions is so bad, then why bother voting at all?
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