Butt-erfly. Get it? Because it’s poop…

Sorry for the shitty joke. At least it wasn’t corny.

Daryl Dixon is not amused.

Given that all Asians don’t actually “all look alike,” it’s apparent that Facebook’s facial recognition protocols are a bit too fuzzy for comfort in this politically correct, race-card-throwing era…

It’s perhaps unsurprising how many weed smokers are completely self-absorbed and unaware of their own actions.

So you pre-ordered Assassin’s Creed: Unity. You poor bastard! Wasn’t it a pain in the butt to not be able to play and enjoy the game until at least December 16th, 2014? Who can afford to sit and wait for 40GB of download patch from a disc that only held 17GB to begin with?

They gave us a “free” downloadable content pack in Dead Kings to make up for the debacle, but when the DLC is just as buggy as the original game, who cares, right?

You probably won’t get 100%. I mean, at least, not as far as Xbox Live or PSN are concerned. The “Defender of Franciade” Achievement won’t pop (Trophies, if you’re on the PS4) for completing the “Suger’s Legacy” quest, even after you get the damn sword out of the wall. But, at least, with a little weirdness, you can actually equip the sword and use it … And it’s pretty damn cool!

First, go up to any merchant and go to Gear Loadout. Select a Rifle — any rifle, but not a Guillotine Gun. Next, to go Pistols, and select your favorite — even if it’s already equipped. Now, go One-Handed Weapons … and you’ll notice that kickass sword — The Eagle of Suger — is already selected, so just back out…

Ya know, the investment in this game has been a real dog. It’s sad that Ubisoft doesn’t have a support department that can tell you to do anything more than, “Start over,” or “Delete your install and re-install,” but that’s pretty much what’s going to happen until the Developers actually start seeing support metrics. And, from a corporate perspective, they probably won’t, the way things are structured.

But even if they did, they still might not be able to do basic math…