Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

The Grass is Always Greener

January 22nd, 2013 at 7:07 pm by Mark
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“Man, I wish I had a Twinkie,” someone mentioned earlier today. “Don’t you wish Twinkies were still around?”

“Meh,” I muttered. “I don’t really care for sweets, and I don’t smoke weed.”

THEN: "These Twinkies are awesome!" "But I wish we had some Marijuana!"  NOW: "This Marijuana is awesome!" "But I wish we had some Twinkies..."

Chinese Bootleg Movies Seem a Bit Different…

January 21st, 2013 at 5:40 pm by Mark
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Again, we see English words used as a design element… in this case, the lyrics to a popular Eminem song. This is, however, not unlike the American idiot with, “I’m a sweet little prostitute,” tattooed on his arm in Chinese because he thought it said, “Fierce warrior.”

Bruce Almighty: Chinese Bootleg Cover

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Cat Stories

January 20th, 2013 at 9:33 pm by Mark
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Once upon a time, I had a cat who was so rambunctious he was neutered and de-clawed fifteen years ago.

Sit down, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I ate your hamster this morning.

NFL Football: Teaching Our Kids about Erectile Dysfunction

January 19th, 2013 at 9:50 pm by Mark
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There’s just nothing like being asked, “Did they say erectile dysfunction? What are they talking about?” by a five-year-old. Thank you, NFL Football!

sooo my son has learned about a disease that only affects dinosaurs, apparently. He saw it on the television and it's called A reptile dysfunction. Doesn't understand the commercials at all but he's pretty sure that's what it is about

Stock Photos

Help for Conspiracy Theorists

January 18th, 2013 at 7:16 pm by Mark
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If you’re now worried terrified about your Cats being spies for the Government, have no fear … The Academy of Conspiracy Theorists can help!

Academy of Conspiracy Theorists: They don't take any chances