Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

What Do the Chinese Think About the iPhone 5?

December 13th, 2012 at 5:03 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

Despite being manufactured in China, the iPhone 5 hasn’t been well received amongst Chinese…

Apple iPhone 5: Because You Have More Money Than Sense

Fail: Kanye West vs. Mozart

December 12th, 2012 at 7:56 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

Meanwhile, in a brew pub near you, a hipster is telling a young music major that he liked B Sharp before it was hot…

As Kanye West drops a new album, we ask the question that's on everyone's mind: How does it stack up against Mozart?

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

So You Hated Math Class?

December 11th, 2012 at 5:39 pm by Mark
Tags: , ,

In the immortal words of Maddox at Best Page in the Universe, “If you suck at math, what you really suck at is following instructions.”

Katt Williams: Like Him or Not, He’s Still Funny

December 10th, 2012 at 5:02 pm by Mark
Tags: , , ,

Because Katt Williams is in the middle of such an obvious meltdown — hitting a fan in the face with a mic, a bizarre three-wheeled motorcycle chase, the unexpected tour cancellation, etc. — people forget that he’s usually as wise as he is funny. Perhaps we all need to remember that, as many will focus on his erratic behavior rather than the fact that he hasn’t senselessly bitch-slapped the Hell out a Target employee for at least a week.

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Best Photoshop Troll Ever!

December 9th, 2012 at 5:43 pm by Mark
Tags: , ,

All in all, the guy who runs PhotoshopTroll.com is pretty incredible at Photoshop. He also goes a long way to show that great talent is very often paired with great sarcasm…