Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

It Doesn’t Matter Who You Vote For

November 6th, 2012 at 7:14 pm by Mark
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It doesn’t matter who you vote for — as long as you get out and vote! But regardless of the winner, you’re still gonna get screwed.

Hipster Dinosaur

November 5th, 2012 at 7:59 pm by Mark
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You just can’t get more “vintage” than “Hipstersaurus.”

Stock Photos

Osombie: The Axis of Evil Dead

November 4th, 2012 at 5:06 pm by Mark
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Still, a better love story than Twilight…

Kittens in Pinup Poses

November 3rd, 2012 at 12:11 pm by Mark
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Always funny, until you get one from the sick, Zombie-obsessed guy next door…

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Football Player Butt-Slapping Ain’t This Bad

November 2nd, 2012 at 9:15 pm by Mark
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Just in case you don’t know what “Detroit Blows” means, you get a nice visual aid on the left side of the newspaper photo…