After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
September 3rd, 2012 at 9:09 pm by Mark
Tags: drinking, humor, police, psa, stealth
Because it’s labor day, there are far too many police. Everyone be safe, and don’t drink and drive.

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September 3rd, 2012 at 5:59 pm by Mark
Tags: amelie, brushing, health, movies, prank, teeth, vagisil
Anyone who’s ever watched the movie Amelie knows that going to the bathroom in auto-pilot mode is also probably a bad idea.

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September 2nd, 2012 at 1:58 pm by Mark
Tags: bible, humor, jewish, pyramids, racism
Apparently someone remembered that whole bit about Egypt back in the day…

Note: If this offended you as being “racist,” your sarcasm level may be low. Please refill and try again.
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September 1st, 2012 at 5:52 pm by Mark
Tags: gay, growing up, humor, justin bieber
Justin Bieber is eighteen years old now — a grown woman, perfectly able to take care of herself.

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August 31st, 2012 at 5:52 pm by Mark
Tags: cops, english, horses, humor, police, politicians, prostitution, spelling
This is why education is important for police officers and politicians…

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