Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Before Phone Sex, Was There Telegram Sex?

May 8th, 2012 at 5:52 pm by Mark
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Clearly, there’s a simple reason why it wouldn’t work … at least, not after the first “STOP.” This April Fools joke from 1949 probably messed with a lot of people, though.

If Mona Lisa Were Alive Today…

May 7th, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Mark
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Painted between 1503 and 1506 by Leonardo DaVinci, the portrait of the wife of Francesco del Giocondo (Lisa Gherardini) known as the “Mona Lisa” is one of the most well-known paintings ever produced.

Of course, this was during a time when women of class were more demure, without senseless celebrities to imitate and had less need for attention-getting tactics. You know for certain that if Mona Lisa were alive today, she’d bare at least two thirds of her boobs on her Facebook pic, have at least one unsightly tattoo and she’d probably still shit in a bucket — although she’d make at least one public video of the act.

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Remembering Van Gogh

May 6th, 2012 at 1:45 pm by Mark
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Everyone remembers the Dutch painter, Vincent Van Gogh, especially for his severed ear, his prominent self-portrait and the painting, Starry Night.

Oft forgotten, however, is his younger brother, George Michael Van Gogh.

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

May 5th, 2012 at 3:40 pm by Mark
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Blogitude.com would like to wish everyone a happy, and safe, holiday!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2700em-JQ

Note: Photo Credit to dfrancis, Some Rights Reserved.

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Mis-Use of Internet Memes

May 4th, 2012 at 5:56 pm by Mark
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The widespread misuse of Internet Memes has become a trend of its own. Given that there is so little information about the sources of said memes, incorrect information is constantly represented as fact with footnotes to prove the falsifications. In the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln:

“The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.”

Personally, I blame Al Gore, since he invented the Internet.