Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Robert Frost: Pyromaniac

April 3rd, 2012 at 5:53 pm by Mark
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Everyone seems to take Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken, as an inspirational poem. But what if it wasn’t?

Grandpa Munster’s Critique of Twilight

April 2nd, 2012 at 5:16 pm by Mark
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Don’t even get him started about glitter…

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Hot Babe Does Incredible Things With Her Tongue

April 1st, 2012 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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I had no idea they allowed this sort of thing on YouTube. Simply amazing… Hurry, before it’s gone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zNxUkKQ86k

Fishing With Moses Must’ve Been a Pain in the Ass

April 1st, 2012 at 1:44 pm by Mark
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Could have been worse. He could’ve been water skiing …

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The Internet: Leading Cause of Divorce Since 1994

March 31st, 2012 at 5:37 pm by Mark
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While demotivational graphics can be humorous to those endowed with the gift of sarcasm, they absolute do not translate to real life. Unless, of course, you want to make your own damn sammich.