After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 10th, 2012 at 5:43 pm by Mark
Tags: donuts, doughnuts, facebook, google, sarcasm, social media, spelling
Special thanks to Dunkin’ Donuts for teaching us how to spell “doughnuts” incorrectly, and to Google for being just like Facebook but without that pesky Privacy Policy!

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February 9th, 2012 at 5:00 pm by Mark
Tags: condoms, humor, pickup lines, safe sex, sarcasm, std
I am uncharacteristically speechless…

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February 9th, 2012 at 12:12 pm by Mark
Tags: facebook, relationships, sarcasm
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February 8th, 2012 at 5:50 pm by Mark
Tags: barbie, barney, girl, guns, kids, sarcasm, unicorn
I can completely imagine this artistic retelling of Smith & Wesson’s MP-15 in the hands of a seven-foot tall purple dinosaur, a highly disproportionate blonde stick figure or the six-year-old female Antichrist. “I love you! You love me! RAWR!” smiling all the way. Strangely, it works interchangeably for any of them. It also works for Chris Crocker, but I digress.

Yep. The OMG-AR15 Unicorn. Specifically designed for daddy’s little angel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KOymKaoECs
Of course, when it’s all said and done, there’s also the thought that .223/5.56mm makes the AR-15 a bit of a “girl gun,” anyway…
Tip: Geek-O-System
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February 8th, 2012 at 5:06 pm by Mark
Tags: anal sex, facebook, fail, failblog, family, innuendo
It could always be worse…

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