After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 25th, 2014 at 7:34 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, innuendo, kelis, milkshake, tranny
Listening to the trials and tribulations of a friend of mine as she re-enters the dating scene has been nothing short of comical. The other day, she mentioned that her milkshake, “seems to bring ALL SIDES to the yard,” including, “a very sweet transgendered lady.”
My current theory is that she may have left the straw in the milkshake….
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February 25th, 2014 at 5:28 pm by Mark
Tags: fans, growing up, justin bieber, sarcasm
Apparently, self-awareness and a modicum of maturity can help some of the most hopeless Justin Bieber fans.
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February 25th, 2014 at 3:24 pm by Mark
Tags: bathrooms, floors, painting, skydiving
If I ever own a bar, this is how I want the bathroom floor painted. I wonder if people who were afraid of heights would end up with vertigo in this bathroom?
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February 24th, 2014 at 5:11 pm by Mark
Tags: flirting, innuendo, pizza
Yeah, this totally sounds like something I’d do…
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February 24th, 2014 at 3:29 pm by Mark
Tags: coffee, grumpy cat, lolcats
Lack of coffee just might explain why Grumpy Cat is so grumpy.
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