Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Christopher Robin Not so Innocent These Days

April 8th, 2015 at 5:47 pm by Mark
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If only he’d stayed in the Hundred Acre Wood…

Convicted of Murder: Christopher Robin

Beer is the Devil?

April 7th, 2015 at 5:18 pm by Mark
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The average price of a case of beer — which contains around three gallons — is still $20, putting the ultra-premium fuel at approximately $6.66 per gallon. Given the sign comes from Alabama, the numeric value may be precisely why they didn’t bother to do that part of the math…

The average human walks 900 milers per years, and drinks 22 gallons of beer, which mean the average human gets 41 miles per gallon not bad...

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Is Your Child a Smart Ass at School?

April 6th, 2015 at 5:27 pm by Mark
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Although technically correct, you almost know that some stodgy, old iceberg is going to take points off this kid’s worksheet because they’ve never heard the song and simply don’t appreciate these kind of stunts…

Activity Three: Brainstorm verbs. What do you to do with your friends and family? Complete the setences below with action verbs like, 'jump,' 'dive,' 'float,' or 'swim.'  1. I like to "MOVE IT MOVE IT" 2. I like to "MOVE IT MOVE IT" 3. I like to "MOVE IT MOVE IT" 4. I like to "MOVE IT!"

Holiday Splurge = Sweets?

April 5th, 2015 at 5:32 pm by Mark
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I don’t eat anything sweet or bitter. This might explain my last marriage…

Chocolate Easter Bunny: Now You're Just Some Bunny That I Used 6o Know

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Spring Has Sprung!

April 4th, 2015 at 5:04 pm by Mark
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No longer does the dog have to cringe at the thought of going outside and worry about any “accidents” in the house It’s warm — a beautiful day — and all is well in the world. 🙂 But there is a down side…

Dog: "All I want to do is go outside. And then inside. And then outside. And then inside again."