Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Vehicular Homicide: Stick Figure Edition

January 31st, 2014 at 3:54 pm by Mark
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I suppose this guy has problems with the ex…

Run You Stick Bastards

Please Use Tongue

January 30th, 2014 at 9:08 pm by Mark
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That’s what she said…

Bread: "Do not touch braed with hands. Please use tongue."

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Still Visit Your Grandparents?

January 30th, 2014 at 7:05 pm by Mark
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This Center seems to lack a lot of the usual facilities…

Senior Citizens Center

Consequences of a Gutter Mind

January 30th, 2014 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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If this sort of thing were true for every profession, bloggers would never have day jobs.

Jaypee via Twitter: "Choices have consequences. When I was young, I was to go to medical school. In the entrance exam were asked to rearrange the word PNEIS to form the name of an important human body part. Those who answered SPINE are today docors while the rest of us are on the internet, doing some shit."

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Annoying Bathroom Mirror Selfies

January 29th, 2014 at 9:36 pm by Mark
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To the roommate who can’t get into the bathroom, have faith that with a mere 4,000 more likes, Facebook will ban her account, anyway.

Girl: "For every 1,000 likes I get I'll raise my sweatshirt up one quarter of an inch higher :)" Roommate: "How many likes to get you to stop hogging the bathroom all day?"