After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
January 25th, 2014 at 5:00 pm by Mark
Tags: friendzone, innuendo, internet, wifi
Sometimes, no matter how many commands you obey or hoops you jump through, it’s simply not gonna work.
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January 24th, 2014 at 9:29 pm by Mark
Tags: food, funny signs, gynecology, hospitals, innuendo
I’m fairly certain they won’t offer an All-You-Can-Eat buffet…
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January 24th, 2014 at 7:31 pm by Mark
Tags: chocolate, diabeetus, diabetes, food, sweets, Vader
The least they could have done was make it from Dark Chocolate…
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January 24th, 2014 at 5:23 pm by Mark
Tags: cold, creepy, ice, paranoia, weather
Maybe it’s not just the freezing wind that’s out to get you…
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January 23rd, 2014 at 9:11 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, facebook, irony, it's a trap, trolls
Ironically, this might actually work. 😉
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