After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnet™ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
January 15th, 2014 at 1:00 pm by Mark
Tags: australia, innuendo, masturbation, media, names, sarcasm
The United States doesn’t corner the market on sexual innuendos for names, as proven by this Australian. You have to wonder — was it really his name, or did he just want to show how naïve the media can be?

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January 14th, 2014 at 9:40 pm by Mark
Tags: advertising, cheeseburgers, equality, food, media, satire
Next, they’ll be going on about the weight of the burgers. Personally, I don’t want a skinny little burger — I prefer mine a bit “thick.”

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January 14th, 2014 at 7:38 pm by Mark
Tags: bacon, cheeseburgers, cows, food, friends, pigs, vegetarians
Sometimes, even vegetarians crave a good, juicy bacon cheeseburger.

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January 14th, 2014 at 5:36 pm by Mark
Tags: bacon, dogs, food, pets, pigs, vegetarians
Regardless of how some people try and blur the lines, some animals are pets and some animals are food.

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January 14th, 2014 at 1:50 pm by Mark
Tags: bad day, nuts, squirrels
Some days, the squirrel gets the nut… Other days…

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