After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
July 3rd, 2013 at 5:43 pm by Mark
Tags: rap, star wars, yoda
This is just proof that green men can’t rap.

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July 2nd, 2013 at 5:18 pm by Mark
Tags: cellphones, sarcasm, trolls, trucks
You might just get it…

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July 1st, 2013 at 5:56 pm by Mark
Tags: quotes, science, shadow, tropic thunder
“Trippy” is the fact that this guy would think colors cast a shadow…

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June 30th, 2013 at 5:54 pm by Mark
Tags: bacon, food, salad, vegetarians
In the words of an average carnivore:
“Vegetables aren’t food. Vegetables are what food eats!”

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June 29th, 2013 at 5:27 pm by Mark
Tags: innuendo, politicians, prostitutes, prostitution
At the Massachusetts State House, specific hookers always knock on the back door.

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