Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Yoda Raps: Riding Dirty

July 3rd, 2013 at 5:43 pm by Mark
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This is just proof that green men can’t rap.

Yoda: "Rollin', they see me. Hatin' they are but care I do not."

Be Careful What You Ask For

July 2nd, 2013 at 5:18 pm by Mark
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You might just get it…

"Got me a Chevy Colorado." "No shit?"  "Hech yeah. 07 with 34,000 on it. Sharp. Got it for 9900. Loan value is 13,500."  "Send me a pic."  "Weird time to ask but ok."

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Proper Use for a Tropic Thunder Quote

July 1st, 2013 at 5:56 pm by Mark
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“Trippy” is the fact that this guy would think colors cast a shadow…

CJ: "Where's the W?!?!? #trippy"  You went full retard, man.  Never go full retard.

Bacon: How All Salads Should Be

June 30th, 2013 at 5:54 pm by Mark
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In the words of an average carnivore:

“Vegetables aren’t food. Vegetables are what food eats!”

Bacon with a sprig of green: "Look, I made a salad!"

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Hookers at Massachusetts State House

June 29th, 2013 at 5:27 pm by Mark
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At the Massachusetts State House, specific hookers always knock on the back door.

Massachusetts State House: - General Hooker Entrance  - Bowdoin St. Entrance  - Ashburton Park Entrance