Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

CVS Sale Price Tags

June 28th, 2013 at 5:10 pm by Mark
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I’ve spent a lot more time in CVS Pharmacy during the last year, and seen some rather interesting inventory tags which have really made me question the quality of CVS as a brand…

CVS Sale Tags: "Gatorade - Piss colored. Tastes like shit."  "CVS Lotion: It puts the lotion in the basket."

Yearbook Quote: Oops!

June 27th, 2013 at 5:59 pm by Mark
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Of course, if this Yearbook had been from a Florida high school, the typo would have made perfectly good sense.

Yearbook Typo: "I will miss the friends that I have made and the memories we shared along with the teachers I have boned with over the years."

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

North Korean Tanks Experience Technical Issues

June 26th, 2013 at 5:37 pm by Mark
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PYONGYANG, D.P.R.K (via blogitude.com): After being openly ridiculed over their Photoshop’d fleet of Stealth fighters, North Korea’s armored battalion underwent testing prior to their press release in order to avoid the world’s laughter.

Deflated Tank

What Do Cats Do?

June 25th, 2013 at 5:47 pm by Mark
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No cat I’ve ever owned has been this bad, but all of them have have delusions of Monarchy.

Cat: "What society thinks I do." "What my person thinks I do." "What my person's roommate thinks I do."  "What the dog thinks I do." "What I think I do." "What I actually do."

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Statistics vs. Common Sense

June 24th, 2013 at 5:22 pm by Mark
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It amazes me that despite conventional logic, University professors and statisticians still cling to statistical numbers even faced with the fact that their numbers deny all common sense.

According to most statistics, the best way to attract a man is with the eyes, and thus it is highly important for women to properly apply their eye makeup. Of course, the vast majority of the these studies were conducted by some rather boring statistical mathetmaticians...