After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
June 4th, 2013 at 5:51 pm by Mark
Tags: amelia earhart, apple, common sense, iphone, maps
Over the last year, we’ve heard numerous horror stories about people following Apple Maps directions and having their safety, and even their lives, jeopardized. This phenomenon underscores the need for people to stop blindly relying on technology to get them to their destinations…

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June 3rd, 2013 at 5:28 pm by Mark
Tags: aliens, common sense, crop circles, ufo
That some people continue to believe that crop circles are caused by Aliens makes an absolute mockery of common sense.

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June 2nd, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Mark
Tags: airports, badgers, flight, virgin
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June 1st, 2013 at 5:11 pm by Mark
Tags: at-at walker, clouds, star wars
When you begin seeing AT-AT Walkers in the clouds, you know it’s time to stop watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back so often…

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May 31st, 2013 at 5:34 pm by Mark
Tags: bestiality, kids, parenting, team jacob, twilight
Of course, it’s also a known fact that if you allow boys to watch Twilight, they end up with more sparkling glitter than the average stripper…

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