Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Toilet Paper Saving Tip for Cat Owners

May 1st, 2013 at 5:58 pm by Mark
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For cat owners, this serves as a case in point for putting the toilet paper on the roller with the leading edge hanging behind it, rather than the “NORMAL” way. By doing this, your cat can’t get frisky and unroll the entire roll.

Cat lying on a bed of unrolled toilet paper.

Apple Returns iPhones to Chinese Manufacturer, Foxconn

April 30th, 2013 at 5:03 pm by Mark
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Last week, Apple returned as many as eight million iPhones to Foxconn, citing the exact same reasons that iPhone users have complained about for years.

Conan O'Brien: "Apple has returned eight million iPhones to a Chinese manufacturer because they weren't fit for sale.  Apple complained the phones couldn't place calls, the screens cracked easily, and had faulty batteries.  In other words, they were iPhones."

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Traffic Fatality Scorecard

April 29th, 2013 at 5:04 pm by Mark
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All I can say is, this driver has missed ample opportunities to collect scores for Slow Children, especially considering they put up signs to alert him of their presence… If you are getting a new car and need to go through the registration process, there is a lot of info here that will certainly help you out. The best way to get cash for your car in del mar is working with these folks. They are super friendly and have your best interest in mind when it comes to getting a good value for your car. You can also have an option on car wraps, just visit here to learn more. Talk to a red light ticket lawyer if you violated the speed limit or went at the red light.

Motorcycles: 5  Elderly: 3  Bicycles: 7  Handicapped: 2  Cars: 1.  Stay Away from This Guy!

Bathroom Cleaning Like a Boss

April 28th, 2013 at 1:33 pm by Mark
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Obviously, an extended trip to the toilet will have the excuse, “Sorry, I was trying to find the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.”

Note: "Please clean this bathroom _tonight_.  Clean it like the Queen of England is visiting.  Clean tonight - Baseboards / Mop / Tub - Please Please!"

Stock Photos

Sick of Adele Songs Yet?

April 27th, 2013 at 5:44 pm by Mark
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Adele’s song, “Rolling in the Deep,” is case in point where commercial radio plays the same song over and over so often that people become physically ill at the mere mention of it, or the name of the artist who sang it.

It's a Dell --- Rolling in the Deep