Since I am a fan of the “News of the Weird,” a column regularly featured in everyone’s favorite free “news” publication in the KnoxVegas MetroPulse, I’ve have decided to share some exceptional news today.

Let us go north, thru Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, Canadia — okay, maybe not that far — go southwest a little, and bam!  You’re in the Dairy state, Wisconsin.  Then within that state, we come to the lovely little city of Janesville, just on the state line.  Janesville is known as “Wisconsin’s Park Place”, even though it was originally founded on strong industry. Our story however comes from a different line of work entirely, one that is universal to all places nowadays: Real Estate.

Whether you are buying, selling, renting, leasing, or subletting, some truths should just be self-evident.  Never trust anyone who offers a deal that feels to good to be true.

1. Inspect the property.
2. If the neighborhood looks like butt, the property values should not be that high.
3. Don’t be afraid to do a bit of research.
4. Don’t forget, to sell a place, the worst thing you can do is have the actual owner present.  Hire an agent.

I can’t help but want to talk about the last one.  The reasoning behind it is the same as hiring an attorney, since we all now a similar adage:  The man who represents himself has a fool for an attorney.  The owner is too emotionally tied to the property to make a viable sales attempt successful. 

Now that we can be successful, let’s get on with the story.

While on location showing a home from fairfield ct homes for sale to a couple, a real estate agent heard a blood-curdling scream out of the female counterpart.  Assuming it was a mouse the husband and agent walk into the room.  To their surprise, it was not a mouse, but the owner of the property… Deceased.

All I have to say is, “Hey, the owner was trying to do the right thing… he was OUT!”

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Oh God, he’s going to talk about Dub-yah.”  You couldn’t be any further from the truth.  Why would anyone in their right mind protest the leaders of their country?  I mean isn’t that why we elect our leaders to keep our BEST interests at heart when they make our decisions for us?  If you disagreed with your leaders, would it not be better to stay on the same level and right them?  Numbers don’t lie.  If you had enough backing then you prove you’re right.  Magically, things might change.

But no, I simply want to make a simple observation, war protesting just sucks now.  What happened?  Have we as a culture forgotten how to be creative in the face of adversity and disagreement?  More specifically, to borrow a line from an old song “Where have all the flowers gone?  Long time passing…”  I couldn’t sum it up better; the protest song has become all but a lost art.  Who can we look for to fill the void, the Dixie Chicks?  Heh, I’ll admit they are cute, but cuteness does NOT mean talented by any means.  The last time we needed protest songs we could look for the Beatles, Donovan, Edwin Starr, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Steel Pulse and the Grateful Dead just to name a few.

That’s a crappy ratio if you ask me.  But it does prove the point that there really is no reason to protest the current involvements of our great nation.  Rather, I suggest we protest the lack of support.  I truly believe that nothing can be achieved since our collective heart just isn’t into protesting now.  So I have this bit of advice to offer to protesters out there, get more creative or ship out.  (Preferably to New Zealand where they always need more liberally protesting types of people.)  Bon Voyage!

Today I thought that I would try and be an actual journalist and tell you something useful.  So like many actual “journalists” I will syndicate the news today with my own personal spin.

From three days ago most news publications are trying to give you and update on the Virginia Tech shooting.  The new revelation has to deal with the shooter’s past mental health history. In addition, while in a poetry class, the professor had the shooter removed from class.

Unfortunately, the natural course of events for liberal sissies is taking effect. They are trying to blame lack of gun control as well as awareness for the incedent. Well, I have news for them, gun control is without question two things: 1. Use both hands. 2. Hit what you are aiming for. So those were obviously NOT this kid’s problem. He hit what he was aiming at, probably used both hands and most definately had to be aware of what he was doing. Especially since he went back for seconds.

In other overwhelming sissydom, the Attorney General is in jeopardy of losing his job simply for making a decision and having piss poor evidence to back it up with. Welcome to the real world with the rest of us buddy. God forbid someone in the Government be actually accountable for a mistake they made instead of blaming it on a predessor and spending more money trying to fix the problem, while in reality screwing it up worse than it was originally.

Speaking of problems which are almost beyond repair, the Iraq situation is still ongoing at this point. Well who am I kidding? We as a country are trying to let a group of beauracrats to perform the job of the Commander and Chief. Not what the framers had in mind I think… Leaving the Commander and Chief to do his job is most ideal and will work flawlessly when he has a good head upon his shoulders and is not guilty of previously mentioned money issue in the last story. Oh wait, see bureaucracy again for lack of funding on that one.

And now to your hippy dippy weather man, for all of the hippy dippy weather, man…

This blog I dedicate to underappreciated musical artists, albums, and songs.  Any of which may have gotten some attention, but for some reason no longer get the attention they deserve. (Kind of like Vietnam Veterans… or for that matter many of our veterans, with the exception of the really annoying over zealous ones that are there to DEMAND pity from those of us who couldn’t even fathom joining the military if we wanted.  That is a different blog though.)

The first on this list are two brothers which were featured in Mushy’s blog not too long ago, Stevie Ray Vaughn and his brother Jimmy Vaughn.  Both guitar virtuosos made major accomplishments to music that for the most part were very seriously forgotten.  In fact, when the news report came out that Stevie had gone down like so many other in a tragic plane crash all the media could seem to report was that Eric Clapton was not on the plane. 

Speaking of planes, the next tributes goes to a man whose claim to fame was a song about one such tragic plane crash, Don Mclean.  He makes the list not because of his hit American Pie, but because of the rest of the album.  As the average hippie might say, “It really seemed to jump out and speak to me, ma-an.”  Vincent, one of the tracks on this album is just brilliant. It deals with things that, at one point or another, all of us have thought about and puts them into perspective.

In terms of perspective, the next mention goes to Jim Croce, for the song Time in A Bottle.  I realize that this song has gotten a lot of press but then you should look at the album of the same name and realize the person wrote some great music.  He was responsible for many great love songs of the era.  If nothing else, I rediscovered his music at a time in my life where he was quite influential.

While his music may not be his own, Richard Cheese must pull a little of his inspiration from any number of influences.  He takes current standards and puts a completely different spin on them, showing little idiosyncrasies that otherwise would be long forgotten.  All I can say is that Closer by the Nine Inch Nails shall never be closer than it is now.  It will always have a special place in my heart because of the man, Richard Cheese.

The last of these tributes, for the time being, goes to a friend of mine in Nashville, Rachel Pearl (or on HerSpace).  I personally feel like blues and jazz musicians don’t get enough exposure in days of queer boy bands and actors who think they are musicians.  (Sorry Mr. Ayckroyd, but you are an actor who plays a faux musician on the silver screen, no matter what you do under said pseudonym to promote blues and jazz artist who are under appreciated.)  Besides, she has a voice that is warm like a late August evening as the sun begins to set with a personality to match.  Not to mention she puts on a hell of a show when she takes the stage.

So as I raise my glass to these musicians, I realize that there are many that I have left at the wayside.  I suppose I will just have to revisit this topic on another day.  So here’s to all of the underappreciated musicians, songs, and albums.  I am sure there will be more to flowers to bloom as the long time passes.

While the name of this blog may bring of thoughts of something racy, I am not talking about what is going on in Iraq, Kosovo, Afghanistan or Central and South America. I am speaking more in terms of visual pollution in the forms of endless websites, unyielding amounts of bumper stickers, and hours of wasted media coverage. Wasted on whom you ask? Local, homegrown, good ol’ American terrorists.

The first of these are those people who want you to realize, “Meat is no treat for those you eat.” Yes, it is the crazed vegetarians, who would rather you become sickly and dwindle to nothing rather than harm animals. Therein lies the problem. They put the well being of the animals they protect above their own. Kind of ridiculous in concept design alone, but they also have to spread their propaganda all over the Internet with websites like Peta and Peta2, not to mention all over Myspace pages and in e-mail.

The other major organization that we can collectively not care for is AIM, or the American Indian Movement, who keep a list of “U.S. Political Prisoners,” which is primarily a list of American Indians who have been incarcerated by the U.S. government for various reasons. The most illustrious of these, Leonard Peltier, is currently serving two consecutive life sentences for killing two FBI Special Agents on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. They are also major supporters of the “Sure you can trust the government, just ask any Indian” mentality, bringing forth their message of individual sovereignty for tribal groups in protests, writings, poetry and art.

That alone is not a major problem, but the way these groups spread their message like a disease (or the Baptist church) is the issue. The way they distribute propaganda, you will hear them out or go to hell: do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars. Well, of the latter that is for sure, since it will go directly into their never ending, yet always almost empty coffers. Besides, someone has to start a large bumper sticker campaign. This is most popular amongst teenagers and adults who haven’t grown out of their activist past, which should have been left in the past (also see: the 60’s), and we would all say thank you.So, grow out of years gone by, as we have new ways of changing things other than just bitching now. You can always run for political office (see: Ben Campbell) and use the tools change things set forth by our founding fathers.