At least it wasn’t his trouser snake…

Because it’s labor day, there are far too many police. Everyone be safe, and don’t drink and drive.

Anyone who’s ever watched the movie Amelie knows that going to the bathroom in auto-pilot mode is also probably a bad idea.

Apparently someone remembered that whole bit about Egypt back in the day…

Note: If this offended you as being “racist,” your sarcasm level may be low. Please refill and try again.

Justin Bieber is eighteen years old now — a grown woman, perfectly able to take care of herself.