The latest weather reports are starting to remind me of bad 80’s songs…

     I have this one, problematic, contention with Christmas these days.

     Most of the people I know, they celebrate Christmas. They agree, Christmas is the season for giving. It’s the time when we, as human beings, connect with each another, give one another gifts, give our best wishes and say, “Hey, all this crap you’ve done for the last year? It doesn’t matter. It’s Christmas.”

     And that’s where I have to draw the line.

     For me, myself, Mark — as some of you can get from the byline, and others can’t — Respect and Love are things that are earned and cherished. I don’t bother with trivialities, either. I can Respect the guy who “forgot” the discount I was supposed to get on an oil change a lot more than I can Love the idiot who had me evicted because I couldn’t show a receipt for the cash they know they received, right?
     It’s pretty simple stuff. And, perhaps cynical on my own part, I’ve always kept the same rules for Family, and the friends who call themselves my family.

     One of the things that’s really gotten under my skin the last few years are those friends, family or whoever they might be who want to castigate this season into some “Evangelical Christian holiday.” They claim this Holiday discounts every other Religion, and is therefore wrong in some way, and that everyone must say, “Happy Holidays!” or they’re angry, pissed off or will, in some way, disavow us in the future.
     Especially if … they’re Atheist.

     That, in my book, is Disrespectful.

     I look at it this way … If you’ve been an absolute asshole about anything even remotely religious all year, and suddenly wanna wish me a Merry Christmas, I’m seriously gonna wonder whose Kool-Aid you’ve been drinking. I mean, seriously, if you’re an Atheist, you don’t believe in Christianity, Islam, Judaism or even Buddhism, so pretty much, your opinion doesn’t count for shit, ya know?

     Those who believe in a higher power, whether it’s God/Al’ah/Shiva (yeah, SAME GUY!), Buddha, J.R Bob Dobbs, Mickey Mouse, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or the f#*&ing Almighty Dollar, regardless, we all have Faith in something. It doesn’t matter whether you call it Holidays, Eid, Qanza, Hannukah, Rebirth, or the Dow Jones.

     And for that person (and their spawn, by birth or mouth) who, a few years ago, stained my life exceptionally well with a false eviction? Thanks for trying to give a bit of recompense. What you sent went a long way to make several other people very happy. It doesn’t mean I’ll trust you ever again, that I forgive you — in any way — or that there will ever be any sort of reconciliation, Respect, or Love.

     I can, at the very least, wish you a Merry Christmas.

     But I guess the Atheists wouldn’t get that… Shit, man. If Charlie Brown gets it, why can’t you?

If Lisa Lampanelli is the Queen of Mean and Lady Gaga is the Empress of Eccentricity, then Nicki Minaj is definitely the Sovereign of Stupidity.

If IKEA did have a snowman, they’d still figure out how to make it have shitty aluminum legs to scratch the Hell out everything…

I can think of one person whose yard needs this sign. But at least it’s so cold now you can avoid the steamy spots in the yard…