Imagine how easy it would be to dress yourself if you had no perception of color. Orange slacks and a green shirt? No problem. Rubik’s cube? Solved in one, simple move…

I imagine it’d be problematic for a vampire to brush their teeth… And even moreso for a Vampire puppet…

“Oh, you have a scrape on your knee? Well, under Obamacare, then you have to give me two ice creams a month for me to put a Band-Aid and some Neosporin on it. If you don’t have two ice creams, then we’re gonna make the store give them to you, and you have to give them to me for your Band-Aid.”

It doesn’t matter who you vote for — as long as you get out and vote! But regardless of the winner, you’re still gonna get screwed.

You just can’t get more “vintage” than “Hipstersaurus.”