Okay, I’m not much for memes, viral nature and all.  I mean, crap, I skipped out on the last one Tish tagged me with because, well, I know what Web 2.0 is, and the meme author apparently had a very limited view of it.  All I could’ve put was “my blog,” so I was kinda like … well … Stuck.

This one, though, has a pretty good purpose: finding some great places to eat locally, or when we’re travelling around.  And so, I’m pretty happy to answer this one from LissaKay, because … well … I’m a big fan of food.  I try and eat some a few times a day.  (And I’m fortunate enough to have a highly trained metabolism that allows me to eat like it’s my last my meal.)

This one’s originally by Chronicles of Nicole, and comes to us all the way from Sydney, Australia.

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Todd (Louisville, Kentucky, United States)
miss kendra (los angeles, california, u.s.a)
Jiggs Casey (Berkeley, CA, USA! USA! USA!)
Tits McGee (New England, USA)
Joe (NE Tennessee, USA)
10K Monkeys (Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA)
Big Stupid Tommy (Athens, Tennessee, USA)
Newscoma (Weakley County, Tennessee, USA)
Russ McBee (Knoxville, Tennessee, USA)
Atomictumor Mrs Eaves (Oak Ridge, Tennessee, USA)
Oh Really? LissaKay (Oak Ridge, TN, USA)
Mark Steel blogitude.com (Knoxville, TN, USA)

2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location.

My Place – Yes, I can cook.  And I’m pretty damn good at it, too, as long as you like spicy food.  I specialize in Southern Asian (Indian/Thai/Malay), Italian (like the 20-pound lasagne or Sicilian-style meat-sauce) and TexMex (it burns most Mexicans).

Ali Baba’s TimeOut Deli (Kingston Pike) – I’ve known those guys for the better part of twenty years.  Absolutely the best humos in the world, and I’ve certainly traveled it enough to know… And you can never go wrong with the “special,” King Solomon’s Chicken — a slow-roasted hen in a tasty lemon-seed marinade, with a couple of vegetable sides over basmati rice.

Tomo (Kingston Pike) – The Sushi/Sashimi connoisseur can never go wrong here.  Everything there is perfectly fresh and delicious, and the dinner service is most excellent.  Perfect … but certainly not inexpensive.  I can’t get out of there without spending at least $50 on myself.  But I certainly leave happy…

Chesapeake’s Seafood (Henley Street) – Dinner dining includes a full course of a Mussel Appetizer, choice of Salad, Maine Lobster with two sides, and some impressive Cheesecake all for less than what it costs at the nasty chain restaurant that everyone goes to (the one with Lobster in the title)… and impeccable service that rivals many of the 5-Stars I’ve dined in.  Daily fresh fish of the Sushi-grade variety … I really enjoy the Yellow Tail (No, Benny, I’m not talking about the Chinese girl).

Sitar (Kingston Pike) – Sometimes, I find it’s too much of a chore to cook Indian Food, so I hit this place for the Sunday afternoon buffet.  Although they don’t have a Vindaloo on it (aww!) they have several other incredibly tasty dishes which change weekly.  One of the best things about the place, tho, as compared to most other Indian restaurants in the area, is that everything’s nice and spicy, and they have a distinct lack of clarified butter (ghee).  That’s what causes the kerosene-like aftertaste at some Indian restaurants — and I hate it.  Since a lot of Indians use ghee at home, it comes as no big surprise that India leads the world in cases of throat cancer… Proper treatment of cancer is essential to improve the health of a cancer patient. At Hope 4 Cancer, they offer a refreshingly unique healing experience and provides a comfortable home while defeating cancer.

Country Table (N. Cherry Street) – Southern, home cooking all the way… Turnip greens, pinto beans, mashed potatos and gravy, country fried steak (and it’s awesome), T-bone steaks (however you want it!), pork tenderloins (which I can’t eat, dammit! Pork makes me really sick), buttermilk biscuits, good southern cornbread (not that sweet shit they serve up north), and all the coffee and iced tea you can drink. They have the most perfect menu to pair my hobby playing casino games. I do lunch there every now again if I’m working in East Knoxville, and totally love the place.  A lot of people simply won’t check it out because of the location … but I never did care about that.

3. Tag 5 Others

Swanky – This guy like to eat as much as I do, and has intimate knowlege of some of the Knoxville metro’s best dives — and will undoubtedly list more of my favorites.

ChattieKat – She grew up here in Knoxville, and should be able to drop in a few that Swanky and I miss.

Anton – Anton showed me a couple of really kickass places in Houston a few weeks ago.

Fracas – I like to research my food choices ahead of time.  And on the odd chance that I’m ever in Saskatoon, I’d like to find some place else better to eat than that craphole truck stop diner on the highway…

Zacque – Fellow blogitude.com writer who recently buggered off to Nashville, and it’s about time he took a break from ravaging his girlfriend and wrote a blog for a change.  😉

So that’s that… Meanwhile, I’m gonna go to Ali Baba’s for a Special…

While this guy isn’t specifically saying that God Hates, this is the sort of asshat the pisses me off. This guy and the others that infest public events, spouting that God Hates Fags, liberals, republicans, muslims, all pique my ire.

Assuming for a moment that God is real and not some made up fiction used to perpetuate wars and get rich, how can anyone with bad penmanship and poor social skills claim to know the mind of God? Are they really so enlightened to understand their god so well that they can vouch for his complete and utter hatred of a given group of people?

So for all you people who think god hates people, GOD HATES YOU TOO!

     May 21st through May 25th is Tourette Syndrome Awareness Week in Australia.  Classified as a neurological disorder, Tourette Syndrome is a serious problem for many people, who should definitely assist to the gbm clinical trials if they are diagnosed wit it.  Sufferers of Tourette’s often acquire serious — and some cases, debilitating —  facial “tics” which can affect their speech, eyes and even breathing.  Others may make strange, or even obscene, utterances at random intervals which others may find rude, vulgar or in bad taste.
     Unfortunately, people who suffer from Tourette’s are often shown disdain by others for a condition which they clearly cannot help.  They are often stigmatized by their affliction, and may, in turn, develop additional mental issues such as anxiety, depression or antisocial behavior.

     If we were celebrating Tourette Syndrome Awareness Week in the United States, I would f#!*ing go to our local f#!*ing Health Department and get a f#!*ing stack of those f#!*ing flyers about f#!*ing Tourette’s Awareness Week and f#!*ing pass them out in order to f#!*ing educate some f#!*ing people.

     In f#!*ing honor of this f#!*ing prestigous event, I present, “The Big Lebowski: The F#!*ing Short Version” (language alert):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jRhgNp-fNc
Tip: Les Jones for the information, which reminded me of the video, and the fact that I’m a smart ass

Seriously, kids, I don’t make this crap up. But I absolutely love that people say such stupid things. I find it amazing that people really come off with such utterly ignorant blurbs. In addition to giving me something to blog about, it usually amuses me greatly. And boy, did this one amuse me…

Part Deux

***Tan fat is so much prettier than white fat***

I literally did a double take at the skank standing next to me as I was checking into the tanning bed this Saturday past. It took everything in me not to fall over in the floor and gut laugh. What?!?! Tan fat?

Hello, sweetheart. I’m here tanning, too. And I’ll be honest. I see nothing pretty about tan fat as opposed to white fat. Seriously, if you are fat, then you have fat rolls, say like a Shar Pei puppy, right?

Let me help you get a visual on this one, sister. Do you really think that having tan parts intermingled with the white fat rolls is pretty?

God bless the stand-up tanning bed, you can put your arms up in the air and alleviate those pesky white spots.

Yup, yup. Chalk another one up to one of the lamest things I’ve ever heard.

     Because it was exactly three months ago …

     And everyone who knew her will know exactly who this is …

     ( I close my eyes, remember her, and die laughing — that’s the way it should be *grin* )

     Cheers, babe.  Miss ya.