Silly Quote of the Day

January 24th, 2007 at 12:09 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , ,

     For a few months, I’ve been writing down some of the bizarre and humorous things that come out of peoples’ mouths.

     Back on November 10th, we’re sitting having a late lunch, and from out of nowhere, Zacque sits up in his chair, narrows his eyes to slits and monotonically mumbles:

Ahhh! Get your genitalia out of my eyes! I can’t see!

     On November 20th, I slammed the last portion of a beer sitting on the table, because you know, we can’t abuse the alcohol.  Susan quotably quipped:

Yeah, what’s a little backwash between friends?

     On November 30th, Zacque, Susan and I were sitting in the Old City when Niki walks in wearing a — form-fitting — red shirt.

Zacque: “Ya know, that’s a very nice shade of red.”

Me: “Yeah, I was gonna say, that is a very nice shade of nipple.”

Niki: “And they’re cold, too!”

Me, Susan & Zacque: “DUH!”

     Now, of course, there have been many, many more over the last few months, most of which are too rude to post here (I try and keep things semi-clean).  Hilarious, nonetheless…

     But this one today, from Lisa, takes the cake:

Stop cursing! I’m ovulating and it turns me on!

     Apparently, insanity runs in circles.  😉

Tough Kid

January 22nd, 2007 at 3:54 am by Mark
Tags: , , ,

Parents are frequently reminded about how resilient their kids are despite seeming so fragile.  I’m sure one friend of ours is thankful how tough hers are.
On Friday night, her son, daughter and a friend of theirs were in a pretty horrible car accident.

Considering that California accounts for 11 percent of auto accidents in the nation, these people got off pretty easy. The son and the friend are both in clear, and already out of the hospital — concussions, internal bleeding and broken bones, and already out.
Her 15-year-old daughter, however, wasn’t quite that lucky.

Above and beyond being bounced around and getting a few nasty bruises, scrapes, gashes and broken bones, she ended up being impaled on the car’s gearshift.
According to a Paramedic on the scene, she wasn’t taking her predicament lightly.  Though they were attempting to help her, she was dead set on kicking their butts when they tried to move her — so much so that she had to be sedated before being removed from the vehicle and flown to the Hospital.

She’s going into a surgery in a few hours to repair her broken spine. This spine surgeon is the one who is going to operate on her and get her back on her feet.

But even with injuries like that, she’s still been moving her hands and feet.  For that matter, she’s been writing notes telling people what she needs.

That’s a helluva tough kid, and I have no doubt she’ll pull through with unbelievable speed.
She’s a Pirate’s kid — these things happen.

But at the same time, a little but if prayer never hurts.

Get $20 of bonus stock when you make a deposit on Stash!

Effects of Drugs on Spiders

January 18th, 2007 at 12:24 am by Mark
Tags: , , , , , ,

     Apparently, Monty’s opened up a can of worms that can’t be shut.  Again, I get put in the position to bring it down a notch.

     In the immortal words of Reinhold Niebuhr:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

     To put it bluntly, “Shit happens.  We deal with it, or we don’t.”

     Recompense helps.

     But when even that fails…

     Laughter always makes us feel better.

     Let’s leave our apprehension, anger and fear at the door for a moment.  I mean, hey, it’d do us all good to just sit back, take a deep breath, and have a good laugh.
     Shall we?

Tip: Thanks, Zacque!

Irreverent Crap

January 14th, 2007 at 4:13 pm by Mark
Tags: , , ,

     While Sam focuses on hard news and editorial, I will continue to … Not.

     Back in the early days of a fully public Internet, alone came The Gallery of Foreign Rectal Objects (now defunct) to fill the void of the disgusting.

     These days, there are sites like RankShit, and they’re not for the squeamish.

     While the site isn’t specifically “not worksafe,” I’m sure employers would ask, “Why did you go there?  What is wrong with you?”

     Of course, the creators the site, when asked why they put it up, gave the following response:

You know – we really don’t have an answer for that right now. Check back with us later.

     Of course, that makes about s&#@ for sense, doesn’t it? 😉

     Although, I’m sure the people submitting pictures could use the talents of this guy…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkzSnwAgIa8

responsive_wp_468x60

Seven Degrees of Seperation

January 13th, 2007 at 5:05 am by Sam
Tags: , , , , ,

One of the tenets of the foundation of the United States was that there would be a seperation of Church and State. This is where most Muslim countries have failed: the power to control the masses has stayed with the “church,” where radical sectarians are able to exert their beliefs upon their unknowing populace. As we’ve all witnessed, this allows very bad things happen.

Karl Marx once said, “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” His writings were instrumental as an architectural diagram for the Bolshevik Party to seize power from Imperial Russia, and overthrow their Czar.

Likewise, in many predominantly Muslim countries, we can find much truth in Marxism: Governments rely on Imams and clerics to spread their agendas.  In turn, those Imams and clerics attempt to keep their people undereducated in order to retain control over their congregations.

Unfortunately, this is where Seperationist ideas come from.

The MSM has widely spread their latest story about radical Muslim cleric Moqtada Al-Sader’s grasp on the current Iraqi military. Of course these stories are popular with mainstream media, being that they’re overwhelmingly against the War in Iraq, but they do illustrate a simple point.

What most people don’t realize is that “Muslim” is a giant label, not altogether different from “Christian.” There are literally hundreds of demoninations, and thousands of sects.

There are Talibans, who preach a radical form of Islam where women are believed to be the deceiving daughters of Eve, and a primitive, Old Testament form of justice is the code of the day: “An eye for eye, and a tooth for a tooth. If thy right hand offend thee, cut it off!” There are occasional Sharias, ordained orders, from Imams and clerics calling for their flock to go forth and kill in the name of God.

It’s very similar, in fact, to the Knight of the Ku Klux Klan or the Church of the Creator in the United States, who order their minions of Neo-Nazi Skinheads to go out and stir up trouble with unbelieving white people (because it’s too much trouble for most of them to go after the minorities they claim to abhor).

It’s not that Islam is inherently bad, but at the very least, the whole of the culture certainly needs to be updated to the 20th century.

A bit of Martial Law certainly wouldn’t go amiss in Iraq: declare a curfew, and kill everything carrying a weapon whether it’s a Man, Woman or two-year-old.

Press for Seperation of Church and State and attempt to solidify the country to a common cause: the end of Radical Islamists.

Iraq has come a long way since this whole thing started, but our recently elected Congress will certainly shed no light on that fact.

This is not the time to cut-and-run: it’s time to prove our worth, and assist the provisional Government to end sectarian violence by declaring Freedom of Religion.