Ya know, I have a lotta friends.  If we’re gonna co-ordinate a ride-a-long, I expect a lotta things.  Some people are gonna be there.  Last night, I co-ordinated a ride home, which, of course, didn’t happen.

     Can you say “FLAKES,” boys and girls?  (Yes, MULTIPLE.)

     I knew you could.

     Most of my friends are pretty responsible.  But I have others who are, for lack of a better word, flakes.  Sure, they can write a blog about how apologetic they are about whatever they’ve done most recently, but damned if they’ll ever just come out and tell me…. It counts just a little more.
     I hate it, when I’m out with friends, and I have to put up with the constantly vibrating text alerts asking for advice about ridiculous things.  “What should I do?  What should I say?  Where should I go?”

     Now, notice it’s only 11PM.

     *shrug*

     I would so love to be an irresponsible prick now and again, and not have to take any responsibility for my own actions.  Instead, I usually end up doing all the hand-holding.
     Now, the addendum to that is … I made the decision to trust the flakes,  anyway.  And, I sincerely hope the idiots got home okay.  *shakes head*

     Me, I made sure I did and got another ride.

     One of the biggest things that sickens me about many “Christian” groups is their propensity to back up their wicked, hateful ideas with obscure Biblical references.

     By now, most everyone in the country has heard something about the so-called “Reverend,” Fred Phelps, of the Westboro Baptist Church — either heard about him personally, or the work he’s done as an Anti-American (“God Hates the USA!”), as an instigator of violence against homosexuals (“God Hates Fags!”), or as an instigator of hatred against Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Roman Catholics, George Bush, Jews, Women, Rye Bread, Israel.  Carpet, and your next door neighbor’s cat.  And Catholics.  And Jews.  And Fruit Roll-ups.
     What self-respecting Christian could possibly follow an asshat like this?  Apparently, up to about 200.  The number frequently changes, mind you, and could be as low as 15.

     The WBC is labeled a Hate Group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, and is rightfully on the Anti-Defamation League watch list.  The group is so hateful, in fact, that even Michael Moore and the Ku Klux Klan have attempted to counter them.

     He and his “faithful followers” have protested the funerals of U.S. Soldiers, and are now turning their vileness towards victims of Virginia Tech shooting:

WBC will preach at the funerals of the Virginia Tech students killed on campus during a shooting rampage April 16, 2007. You describe this as monumental horror, but you know nothing of horror — yet. Your bloody tyrant Bush says he is ‘horrified’ by it all. You know nothing of horror — yet. Your true horror is coming. ‘They shall also gird themselves with sackloth, and horror shall cover them; and shame shall be upon all faces, and baldness upon all their heads’ (Eze. 7:18).

Why did this happen, you ask? It’s simple. Your military chose to shoot at the servants of God today, and all they got for their effort was terror. Then, the LORD your God sent a crazed madman to shoot at your children. Was God asleep while this took place? Was He on vacation? Of course not. He willed this to happen to punish you for assailing His servants.

     But in reading the above, what strikes me most is that Phelps claims that God inspired a man to kill our children as punishment for our country’s involved in Iraq.  When I consider the fact that Phelps has repeatedly been anti-Muslim, I find his credibility in this case pretty weak.  But, apparently, anywhere from 14-200 people (discounting Phelps, himself) are able to ignore that little inconsistency…

     And to debunk it a little further…
     Back in the Garden of Eden, Cain became jealous of his brother, Abel, because he felt that God favored Abel.  While they were out in the fields, Cain killed Abel.  Why didn’t God protect Abel?  Was God asleep while this took place?  Was He on vacation?  Of course not.
     God allows us Free Will.  That was the gift of the Forbidden Fruit.

     There is Separation of Church and State in this country.  Religious Freedom is guaranteed by the First Amendment — “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion…”
     What that Amendment means is that they’re not going to come and shut down Mr. Phelps “Church” because his Religion and Free Speech is protected.  Put simply, they stay out of his domain, so long as he and his followers don’t take action on the garbage they’re preaching…

     “The hell with your flag.  The hell with your fag army, your fag courts, your fag-run government,” says Phelps.  “This is the hypocritical, fag-infested, fag-run United States of America and we’re supposed to respect that fag rag flag?”
     Yes, he is supposed to Respect it.  This Country, and that Flag that it represents, are what gave him the right to spread his filth in the name of Religion.

     I would also have them remember that Government will stay out of their Church’s domain only so much as their Church stays out of the Government’s domain.  With every legal line they cross while spouting their politics and hatred, they become less and less a Church, and more and more a Hate Group who spout Bible Verses.

Tips: Slublog, LissaKay

     This morning, at 6AM, my telephone rang.
“Hello?”
I was greeted by a recorded message telling me about the wonders of Globalization, and how Offshoring can help my business.  I hung up.  The phone rang again, and when I answered, the recording continued.

I called back the number of my caller ID — 703-738-6669.  It took two tries to get to a human being, who explained that she was with Arctern Incorporated, and was based in — no big surprise — India.

I asked her why their company was calling people in the United States at 6AM.
She began reading a broken-English essay about offshoring.
I told her that at 6AM, no one was open to that kind of drivel.  I also informed her that since I’m on US/Eastern, it was later here than anywhere else in the US, and that her and company have NO BUSINESS calling ANYONE in the United States at that time.
“Sir, perhaps you should speak to our marketing department.”
“I will not speak to your marketing company Thrive Themes.  You are officially informed that you are not to call this number ever again, and right now, you’ll be extremely lucky if I don’t file a nuisance complaint and have your Fairfax, Virginia telephone number disconnected.”
At that point, I hung up.

Arctern’s website lists all sorts of buzzwords.  “Outsourcing.”  “Offshoring.”  “Technology.”  “Research.”

To learn more about the latest trend on websites with online services, look at these guys – WebDesign499.

I only consider that their “Outsouced,” “Offshore” corporation was unable to leverage “Technology” and “Research” Time Zones before they started mass-dialing the United States at 6AM.

Arctern Incorporated get the Asshat-of-the-Day award.

Today I thought that I would try and be an actual journalist and tell you something useful.  So like many actual “journalists” I will syndicate the news today with my own personal spin.

From three days ago most news publications are trying to give you and update on the Virginia Tech shooting.  The new revelation has to deal with the shooter’s past mental health history. In addition, while in a poetry class, the professor had the shooter removed from class.

Unfortunately, the natural course of events for liberal sissies is taking effect. They are trying to blame lack of gun control as well as awareness for the incedent. Well, I have news for them, gun control is without question two things: 1. Use both hands. 2. Hit what you are aiming for. So those were obviously NOT this kid’s problem. He hit what he was aiming at, probably used both hands and most definately had to be aware of what he was doing. Especially since he went back for seconds.

In other overwhelming sissydom, the Attorney General is in jeopardy of losing his job simply for making a decision and having piss poor evidence to back it up with. Welcome to the real world with the rest of us buddy. God forbid someone in the Government be actually accountable for a mistake they made instead of blaming it on a predessor and spending more money trying to fix the problem, while in reality screwing it up worse than it was originally.

Speaking of problems which are almost beyond repair, the Iraq situation is still ongoing at this point. Well who am I kidding? We as a country are trying to let a group of beauracrats to perform the job of the Commander and Chief. Not what the framers had in mind I think… Leaving the Commander and Chief to do his job is most ideal and will work flawlessly when he has a good head upon his shoulders and is not guilty of previously mentioned money issue in the last story. Oh wait, see bureaucracy again for lack of funding on that one.

And now to your hippy dippy weather man, for all of the hippy dippy weather, man…

From Fox News:

A 35-year-old Orlando man can thank his 300-pound girth for helping save his life after he jumped off a cruise ship and drifted 20 miles for more than eight hours with a collapsed lung before rescuers found him in the Atlantic Ocean.

Regardless whether I knew my fat would float or not, I would not be jumping off of a perfectly fit rowing boat. That’s just lame. But, Michael Mankamyer did it. More than one witness has come around and said that “he jumped”.

Despite reports that he had “fallen” overboard, theoretically there is no way that could happen. It’s not like he was some tiny little thing that just slipped through the safety rail. No. This is a 300 pound fella.

Now, if you’ve seen the picture of this guy, the story might be explained. He just looks like that kind of goofy, attention-whore who will do anything to be in the class clown and/or the center of attention. You know, the college buddy who always got tanked before midnight and by half past, he was hanging naked from the roof of the frat house.
Jeez, buddy. Couldn’t ya have just talked all of your pals into a bad night of drinking and karaoke?

That’s it. I’ve made a snap decision to stop dieting and to stop going to the gym and follow tips from this page.
So, if on my honeymoon, I get tanked and take a wrong turn and fall off a big old rowing boat, I’ll be able to float around until they come back to find my fat behind.

He’s just lucky the Pirates weren’t out and about or he would have gotten so dunked for nothing more than being less than genius.