The other day, Anton (from LR2) and I were talking about stupid headlines.  He says, “I saw a great one the other day…”

Women Have More Orgasms During Lesbian Sex than Men

     Once I stopped laughing, I responded with, “Yeah, I can see that.  Once most guys get it over with, they turn off the video.”  I mean, I certainly can’t think of any men who engage in Lesbian sex (I mean, past the occasional ménage à trois, which apparently doesn’t count as “lesbian”), but then, it’s a big world … so who knows?

     Unlike the last Media headline I loved, “Jets May Be Vulnerable to On-board Bombs,” I don’t have any screenshots or cut & pastes of the headline.  
     The original article, however, was real, and could be easily found from multiple sources ynder the titles, “Lesbians Have More Orgasms” and “Variety is the Spice of Sex Life.”

     AP, Reuters and miscellaneous others often change these sorts of absurd ambiguitues soon after they’re discovered.  However, it’s a good thing for us a lot of that many people under Media outlets’ employ aren’t proactive in doing it beforehand. 
     It gives us the occasional opportunity for a comical comeback!

     If ya find any good ones, send them to us!  If we find them equally amusing, we’ll post them and give you a link and a credit.

     Back in July, Swanky had his meticulously planned First Annual Luau at his place.  Sure, maybe it’s a little presumptuous, thinking that it’s gonna be an Annual event, but it was truly a great party.
     A *lot* of people showed up (sixty-plus) to eat and drink heavily, and everyone played nice together.  Where else but Swanky’s Annual Luau are you gonna get sixty people together and not end up with a fight, hurt feelings or annoyance?  (Note the hint, Swanky)

     The next day after cleaning up the yard — kudos to the conscientious crowd who knew how to decently dispose of their debris — the DogCats were extremely affectionate.
     Now, if you’re not familiar with the DogCats, they’re a couple of rather large Maine Coon Cats who play fetch, stand up, chase cars, attack strangers who come into yard and Rottweilers being walked by their owners.  Just imagine your average German Shepherd with needle-sharp teeth and razor claws, and that’s pretty much their overall demeanor.
     After a nice session of fetch with the branches in the yard, the younger of the two decided to take a rest from which little could stir him.  Swanky threw a branch on him.  The younger younger DogCat flinched, bit it a couple of times, and laid back down.
     This, of course, prompted Swanky, Ms. Swanky and I to start throwing more on him.

     Of course, the fun didn’t stop there.  He just laid there while we added more and more.

     “Oh, man, this is great!  It’s Catmouflage!” I said as I piled a few more on.
     The laughter brought the elder DogCat closer to observe the situation.

     If I didn’t didn’t mention it before, yeah, the DogCats can talk, too.  I think his exact words were, “Umm… what the Hell are you people doing?  Umm … You realize you three are idiots, right?”

     Of course, he went to check on his younger sibling, who appeared to be quite “dead” at the time….

     …however, his concern was met with a sharp tag on the nose by his little brother’s outstretched paw.

     We continued, but the very last branch, much larger than the rest, was enough for him.

     One flip, and he walked right out.

     And that was that.

     Note to PETA and the SPCA: No DogCats were harmed during this excercise.  Neither were any sheep or rams.  Please do not attempt with normal cats.

     Good times, good times…

     Considering I’m a Star Wars dork (but having a life and personality without making constant references to it like some people), a friend of my sent me a great link today (Les Jones site)…

     Further investigation revealed that there are approximately thirty Femtroopers in the world today, mostly in the United States (thanks to SithVixen for the scoop).
     Peter Hartlaub, at The San Francisco Bay Culture Blog, had a recent entry about the phenomenon.

This is perhaps the most celebratory development for horny Star Wars fans since Princess Leia became Jabba the Hutt’s barge ho.

I think these photos are really hot, but maybe that’s because I’ve seen “The Empire Strikes Back” at least 25 times and own a George Lucas action figure. While the armored hot pants and bare midriff are both nice touches, the contoured breast plate is definitely the sexiest/funniest part of the costume.

     Unfortunately, some people just don’t get it.  A comment on that site, written by someone known only as bagdorka, reads:

You know, I’m all for the armor… But, sorry to say, it’s not the real deal until they are sporting hairstyle-compatible demi-helms that cover their faces. The true star wars geek wants to hear it through the speakers, if you know what I’m saying. 

     *ahem*  Yeah, ok.  Taking this stuff a little too seriously?

     And TK5528 at the UK Garrison of the 501st Stormtrooper Legion seems to agree:

The “femtrooper thing” is strictly not permitted in the UK Garrison.

Besides, we in the UKG only do canon costumes in regards to Star Wars, and IMHO, femtroopers have very little to do with Star Wars.

     *cough*  And somehow spending seven hundred (or more) pounds for a Stormtrooper outfit, going to a London Convention Center and trying to drink Guinness and Whitbread through your helmet does have something to do with Star Wars…?

     Barry, a reader on the Les Jones site, had the following comment:

Well, it does inspire a new saying – “As useless as a codpiece on a femtrooper”

     *Ding!*  *Ding!* *Ding!*  Finally, we have a winner!  Nice one, Barry.  😉

     Les Jones writes:

Femtroopers – Feminine versions of Star Wars stormtroopers, the better to hookup at DragonCon with.
 .
 .
 .
Natural environment – the hotel and/or convention center

Favorite put-down – aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?

     I would venture to say they get plenty of dork-lines, as well, such as, “Hey, baby, are those things real?”
     Then again, I can also imagine them waving their hand, and saying, “These are not the breasts you’re looking for.”

     Here’s a Video for you PETA-supporting asshats (the rest of us will just think it’s funny):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrK_jyZUlQc

     Unfortunately, the comments on Google Video were quite rude.  It came as no surprise to me that some really nasty ones came from New Zealand (3.5 Million People + 17.5 Million Sheep = Grant Gillon Comment).

     Though some people said, “What a hick!  Our tax dollars at work!” those kinda comments were most likely from Moonbats  who, as we all know, have no sense of humor.
     “Fun is childish!”  Yes, moonbats even hate Disney World!

     Say what you will, I don’t considering playing with animals to be cruel, nor that the soldier in question did anything wrong to the animal.  Looked to me like they were both having a good time, much to the amusement of bystanders.
     And on that note…

     Desert Boots : $40.
     Helmet : $65.
     Camcorder : $328.

     Getting caught headbutting a Ram and having it displayed all over the Internet : Priceless.  😉

The other day, a friend of mine sent me a link to a Pittsburgh-area restaurant called Casa D’ice.  Owner and disestablishmentarianist, Bill Balsamico, has started using some “colorful” advertising on his road-side sign, advertising specials and making what Media would call “unpopular” political statements.
Brilliant stuff, really.  Even if he makes people angry, even if they consider him a racist, people will still come in the door to check it all out.  And they’ll probably end up having dinner and drinks.
The best had to be:

WANTED
SOMEONE VERY OPENMINDED
TO CHANGE THE SIGN EVERY WEEK
AFTER I DIE
INQUIRE WITHIN

     Hopefully, it won’t be from a gunshot by a disgruntled citizen…

     LR2 posted a link to another site about a restaurant in Scottsdale Arizona.

     Reminded me of a cartoon…