I overheard a convenience store employee say that “now that President Obama is in office, he was going to finally get an “opportunity”. So I asked how long he has worked at the store and it turns out he was one of the assistant managers and has been for like 5 years.

In any event, I have to just ask this very simple question. Why would an individual waste 5 years of their life waiting for someone to give them something? (Especially a president of a country) I would have thought that after 2 or maybe 3 days would have been long enough to figure out that nobody is going to give us things in our result orientated economy and society. At what point did we just start sitting around with a fucking hand out waiting for shit to drop in our laps? What ever happened to personal responsibility and accountability?

Yea, the bastard was clueless when I uttered the famous quote “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thank you Thomas Edison!

I think Nintendo, X-box and Pong has fried our youths brains and made them lazy slack asses. If they are waiting for me to give them a handout, I have a backyard that needs mowing. Feel free to swing by. No, you only get paid when the job is done well. I won’t pay you just because you showed the fuck up.

God I am tired of supporting underachievers of our society. I really, really am.

     “Mark, what’s wrong with you today?” (concerned)
     “Sorry, a little shaky.  Low blood sugar… I’ve been busting my ass here all day, and I need food… now…”
     “Man, I need this shit finished, then you can grab some food…” (annoyed)
     “I’m so hungry, I could eat a whore…”
     “You mean horse, right?” (laughing)
     “No, I’m really that hungry… and thinking how nice that’d be boiled in coconut milk, with shallots, garlic and green chili paste…”
     “Uhh, Mark, you’re disturbed, man.” (worried)
     “Ya know, you’re starting to look pretty tasty, yourself.”
     “Uhh, okay, umm…” (more worried)
     “Now you’re starting to sound like our new President, which is good.  I happen to like a mixture of dark and light meat in a curry…”
     “Yeah, okay, uhh… I mean… go grab something…” (fear)
     “I’ll be back soon.”
     “Nah, that’s okay… Just, uhh.. I mean… you can finish whenever…” (scared)

     It was amusing to hear the door locking as I walked out of his office…

     …and they call themselves “headhunters.” *rolls eyes*

“I’m gonna bar-b-que your ass in molasses!!!!”

Sorry – I removed the video as embedding wasn’t allowed.

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnRwQjTYfGI)

I’ve got a booger on my finger and I’m looking around my office and I don’t see any kleenex.  Dammit.

“Stick it to the bottom of your chair and flick it off later”, says the little voice.

“Ok”, I say out loud only to find out… Ick – there is other shit down here.  What the hell!  Are they mine?

Probably.

As this seems to be a recurring issue I can’t imagine that I am unique to this experience.  So I dare you to run your hand under your chairs around your house or in your cars.  It is a safe bet you’ll hit crunchy, flakey, dried up pieces of snot somewhere.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying they are yours, but that may not be your thing either.  Maybe you prefer to snort them back and then choke on it as it slides down your throat bouncing back and forth along the walls of your esophagus.  HAACHCHOUGH!!  And then again, maybe you have a spit cup that you use.  Or maybe, just maybe, you aren’t as lazy as I am and you’ll go get something from the bathroom just across the hall.

Anyways, I’ve solved one of my problems.  Now all I have to figure out is: how the hell did I get this shit on my shoe…

Psychology sucks.

So do bad animated GIFs.