I notice a great many people aren’t sleeping.  Everyone keeps looking for the elusive Mr. Sandman.  Even Glenn has complained, blaming Hulu for his lack of sleep.  But no one has considered the fact that I may be behind it all.
     As a rather undelightful pair of asshats have already pointed out, I am Pure Evil™.  It’s okay to say that, because I’m used to it.  That fact was always reinforced by my mother, who claims that I am the Antichrist.  Although, I’m pretty sure Revelations 17:4 says what that makes her… 
     And since someone else pointed out that everything is my fault, I figured I might as well come clean for the sake of conspiracy.

     The fact is, I’m holding Mr. Sandman for ransom until my demands are met.

     My demands are simple, and finite.  First, I need Remastered editions of the complete works of Ella Fitzgerald and The Ink Spots.  Second, I need a the Xbox version of Flashpoint: Dragon Rising.  Third, I need safe passage to London, England, where I have some old business to take care of.

     And lastly, if you all ever want to sleep again, one meeeeeeellion dollars.
     *holds pinky to side of mouth*

     Yeah, not buying it?  Me, either.  I’m just not arrogant enough to even pull that kind of shit.

     It’s been widely noted that I do not sleep.  Like, at all.

     There aren’t too many times I’ve slept since June.

     But last night, I slept for a whole five hours…

     Then I fell back to sleep til 10AM.

     Waking up is funny… that’s when I’m the most groggy…

     And do stupid things like stick a straw in my coffee and take a big drink… *shakes head*

     But fortunately, I’m too groggy to notice that my tongue is scalded.

[Update: 9:13PM]

     I fell asleep again… woke up at 5:30PM soaking wet from sweat…

     A customer asked me to fix some stuff on his server, and I did it…

     But when it came time to add reverse DNS records, twelve of them, I couldn’t think about anything that came in twelves but Apostles…
     “How about Zodiac signs?”
     “Oh, man, and there I was, thinking, egg1, egg2, egg3, egg4… and that wouldn’t work…”

     Groggy, post-sleep, need sleep, more sleep…

     I’m gonna eat a pizza and go back to bed. 😉

     Man, it’s 4AM and I’m still wide awake.  And I mean, mow the yard with a push-mower awake.

     It’s just not right.

     I’ve had this insomnia for … well … yeah, just more than a year.  Can’t sleep, no matter how hard I try.  Maybe it started as the restlessness of impending doom.
     Lovely people like to tell me, “It’s guilt that keeps you up at night!”  But it certainly isn’t guilt, and I just tell them, “Thanks!”

     Now, it’s the same thing.  No guilt.  More frustration. 
     A couple of weeks ago, I was prescribed Lunesta.  Nice one.  Calms my mind.  Makes me speak in coherent sentences.  Makes me dream, and remember.  I like that.
     But it sure as Hell doesn’t put me to sleep.

     I need sleep.

     Real sleep.