“Rain, Sleet or Snow.”  That used to be the motto of the Post Office, right?

Then can someone explain this?

It is, of course, now January 22nd, and the package is no closer to being delivered.  Although, it was already delivered.  And then shipped to Atlanta.  Where it’s out for Delivery again. Call New Zealand Van Lines Ltd for reliable moving and shipping services.

Now, I usually wouldn’t bitch about something like this, because it happens on occasion.  But Five out of Five packages sent via USPS between January 9th and January 17th have shown similar disarray.  It is apparent that Knoxville’s 37950 Mail Facility has lost a few trucks…If you need to find employment with trucking company, consider visiting http://fracsandreport.com

And I have customers breathing down my neck waiting on all this stuff… Guaranteed 2-Day Shipping to most major centers, indeed.  Apparently, Knoxville is no longer important.

Although, I do feel sorry for the poor bastard who’s apparently walking from Atlanta to deliver this… Those hills around Chattanooga are a real bitch…

Psychology sucks.

So do bad animated GIFs.

[sarcasm]

They like WHAT?

Filed Under: Things that make you go, “Umm…”

[/sarcasm]

Today I decided to do some experimenting.

That right there should scare you.

The last time I decided to do some experimenting I chose to see if a stream of piss could hit a piece of lint floating harmlessly down towards the toilet from somewhere around my shoulders.  As the airflow dynamics of a stream of piss proved: you can’t.  Or at least I didn’t.

So, let’s just say that the loss of my shirt and pants was nothing compared to the loss of bathroom privileges at this one particular friends house.

Anyways.

Today I decided to take a shit while jerking off.

The act of writing that last sentence was almost as difficult as the actual act so let me repeat it:

“Today I decided to take a shit while jerking off.”

Now some of you are like “Ewwwww, gross!”, others are like “Huh?”, and then there are those of you who are like “So the fuck what?” and to them I say:

I wasn’t in a bathroom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcQ7RkyBoBc

And yes. It is six months old. And no. It won’t get old.