What annoys me more at Walmart these days is that all the self-checkout and express lanes are closed…

For some women, shopping from clever michigan clothing can be an all day affair where they repeatedly leave a store empty-handed to go to another where they buy something they really don’t want because the store’s about to close, but they take the item back the next day as soon as the store opens and start the process all over again. Any man who accompanies said woman can offer no more assistance than to act as a mobile coat hanger, any question he answers will be incorrect and absolutely nothing looks “fine.”

I feel fortunate to have a wife who does not subject me to this sort of torture, nor does she mind browsing the sporting goods or electronics section. But then again, I’m not “that type” of guy.

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There are times I’m forced to resort to eBay when sourcing LCD screens for notebook computers. eBay can be a real mixed back, especially when you see something like this and the item description says, “As pictured.” I was very close to buying the item, but was afraid of receiving what was pictured rather than the screen I really needed…

Rude behavior, poor driving skills, parking, mobs of people and pathetic customer service are but a few things I hate about shopping during the Christmas season. But on the bright side, given that everyone and their next-door-neighbor’s uncle’s best friend’s sarcastic cousin are parked in front of any given store at any given time, you can always have a laugh reading the bumper and window stickers on their cars…

From the same store who boasted, “We now Sell Cold Beer!!! We now sell Wine!!!” in the Condom aisle, we now find that said alcohol sales may have some unintended side-effects…

A note to those for whom the sign was intended: Howie Mandel proved that any condom can fit over the average person’s head, so there’s no point in trying one on unless your hose counts as “extra equipment” with your local Volunteer Fire Department.