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Amidst slams of tax evasion by the several world governments, and after years of throwing everything but the kitchen sink into what used to be known as the “cellular telephone,” Apple has made yet another paradigm shift for their next iPhone…

“Oh, you have a scrape on your knee? Well, under Obamacare, then you have to give me two ice creams a month for me to put a Band-Aid and some Neosporin on it. If you don’t have two ice creams, then we’re gonna make the store give them to you, and you have to give them to me for your Band-Aid.”