Author Archive for Jason

Gift Exchange: Not Available for Weekdays

March 18th, 2014 at 1:38 pm by Jason
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For those poor souls with hangovers today from all the green beer you drank last night? You can’t trade Tuesday for Thursday, either.

I know every day is a gift, but where's the reciept for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday!

Kids Begging for Money

March 16th, 2014 at 3:38 pm by Jason
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Yesterday a kid walked up to me in a restaurant and asked if he could “borrow” my money. I said, “No go ask your daddy.” I wanted to see what man he went to and punch him in the face but the kid walked all over the restaurant like he had no parents. It’s hard to blame the kids.

"Too Late Now... Your Child is an Asshole: A Guide for Parents Who are Most Likely Also Assholes."  by Barbara Simmons, author of ADMIT IT: Your Child is Having a Fucking Meltdown

Stock Photos

Who Has the Bigger Weiner?

March 16th, 2014 at 1:13 pm by Jason
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Mine’s still bigger than yours. And it didn’t require implants.

Giant Truck: "Sorry About Your Penis, Bro."

If Your Man Can’t Drive a Straight Shift…

March 15th, 2014 at 7:04 pm by Jason
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Funny when women do it we call it “driving a stick” …

Ladies, if your boyfriend can't drive a standard, you have a girlfriend.

Mark Twain on Stupid People

March 10th, 2014 at 1:28 pm by Jason
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It’s so much easier to just hang up the phone.

Mark Twain: "Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."