Sitting in Taco Bell with a friend and I hear fluent Spanish. I look around and, lo and behold, there’s a Mexican gentleman sitting across the restaurant. “It’s a good Chinese restaurant because lots of Chinese eat there,” seems silly now…

This is almost the law of the land now. We can’t even drive a car without looking at our text messages and trying to reply even at the danger of having a wreck and killing ourselves or someone else.

Notice is hereby given that ALL CITIZENS MUST Everywhere Everyday Constantly Fiddle with their cell phones. AT NO TIME is it permissible to sit idle and observe the poetry of life or look into the eyes of another person. The arrival of a snippet of trivial text holds the promise of unimagined pleasure, of course we still need to communicate with all the people that is far from us, that’s why a service that let us send free SMS to anyone in India on this Christmas is useful for many people in this country. Honor thy ringtone and jiggling hand-held devices above all other gods. REMEMBER ALWAYS: Practice constant devotion to the PRECIOUS OBJECT. Give full attention to the GLORIOUS TECHNOLOGY. Maintain unselfish love for the FLIMSY HARDWARE.

Just in case it didn’t sink in the first time: Ladies… If your man doesn’t know how to fire a weapon, you’ve got a girlfriend.

I’m not the only one with my mind in the gutter. LOL

Ahh, they surrendered. Dammit…