The UP CLOSE and VERY PERSONAL edition.
GO TO HELL.
Go Straight to Hell. Do not collect two hundred dollars.
Image copyright © 2009 ME
Sentiment™ so strong, it is a registered trademark of blogitude.com
(Photo Copyright © Jim Marshall)
I love to read. I rarely put down a book. But it happens. Usually after I realize it was written by a woman. Sorry, does that make me sexist? No? I didn’t think so either. It’s just that … well in real life women talk too much. Really. You do, and in too much detail. This is where it bleeds into a woman’s authoring skills. Just too many thoughts and feelings for me to process and give a shit about. So much so, that it sort of, well it pisses me off. Instead of reading why so and so decided why she was going to go the beach at J Street instead of L Street, I’d much rather know her cup size and know that she is going to the beach. And lets just hope she isn’t fat and ugly. Which would of course beg the question as to why a guy would write about a fat ugly girl going to the beach in the first place…
So where is this coming from? Let me tell you.
This morning I am reading Boobsday written in 2007 by Christopher Buckley and on page 66, 4th paragraph, 8th line down, first word is “mainframe”! Mainframe? Really? In 2007, this guy writes a book about a blogger who is using a mainframe? Holy shit.
Congratulations Chris, I have put down your book and in my opinion, you have joined the ranks of the women writers who can’t write for shit. You are a pussy and are to be ever refered to as Christina. You dillhole. [Note - I decided to read the next few chapters of this book to see if he really meant to say mainframe. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, but only because 'Thank You For Smoking' was such a great film.]
Glenn
Both LG Electronics and Phenom Communications have announced and/or released “wristwatch communicators” for US markets.
Although, I don’t see any CDMA versions. Nor do I see a Seiko- or Rolex- style wrist phones, which pretty well counts them out for me. Much like I am too cool for Gamestop, I am also too cool to wear one of these embarrassing monstrosities. 
Prior to their bombing run in Gaza on New Years Day, Israeli miltary telephoned many residents warning of the impending attacks. Leaflets dropped in eastern Gaza, sonic missles used as auditory warnings, and soldiers mounting at the borders should have made the attack no surprise. However, in typical fashion, these warnings were paid no mind, and the resulting devastation has led to a hornet’s nest of anti-Israeli and anti-US sentiment.
“When you stand in front of a moving train where the conductors are continuously flashing the lights and blowing their steam horns, whose fault is it, really, when you get run over?” asked Sam Kelter, legal and political correspondent at blogitude.com.
The surgical strike by Israel was largely successful in Gaza, where a militant mosque and more than twenty homes were leveled. homes which reportedly housed Hamas leaders, militants and weapons. In addition, Hamas militant leader Nizar Rayan, his four wives, and ten of his twelve children were killed, dealing a significant blow to the Hamas power structure in the region.
Gaza health officials claim more than seventeen hundred are wounded at present. The United Nations claims that up to twenty-five percent of the dead may be civilians, while Hamas actually verifies that around fifty-percent of its security forces are deceased, along with as many as twenty-five children. Whether or not these children were in Hamas homes is still unknown.
The present death toll includes around four hundred people, four thousand sheep, seventy five dogs, twelve monkeys, six geese a-laying, and an unidentified meat puppet which may have been used in a Quiznos commercial. No cats were injured during the bombing.
Asked to comment on the situation, upcoming President Barack Obama replied, “Umm, yes, and, umm, I plan, umm, to address, umm, this situation, ummm, when we, ummm, you know, umm, January, ummm, by the end of the, ummm, by tax season.”
It seems that our only hope of a diplomatic resolution to the situation may be in the verbal skills of future Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, whose previous statements regarding the War on Terrorism were, “I will not rule out the nuclear option.”
I started to leave this as a comment on Glenn’s blog, but then I remembered the video that just had to go along with it…
Now, if Glenn and I merged companies, and then brought Doug McCaughan into the fold, as well, there would be absolute mayhem with a grand total of six people to aid in the office devastation.
Doug could teach everyone to juggle… While I sit back, exhaling cigarette smoke into rather complicated balloon animals, and tossing out lewd remarks…
(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDxEHg7Pdvg)
…about you guys “playing with your balls.”
Ya know… Strangely, it’s not an altogether horrible idea… Especially if we also brought in the other evil genius, Anton, with his high voltage Nerf Vulcan…
The other day, I decided to take up Juggling for the third time in about a year. I looked around online and found a number of resources that describe the activity as a good way to relax and get your mind off of things.
Great.
So I went into the warehouse and found three tennis balls. I also came across a bag with a soccer ball, a football, and a basketball, as well as an assortment of softballs and baseballs.
Most Excellent.
To date I’ve destroyed three glass panes that were lying around, two framed pictures by Ansel Adams. A framed poster for some shitty movie we worked on. It had Alan Rickman in it so we were proud of that. I’ve also managed to knock countless items off of the shelves and knocked over a tray containing a few hundred assorted nuts and bolts. Oh and the bucket of change. Yep. That’s on the floor too.
So far so good! Now I just can’t wait to start practicing juggling.
Glenn
The following proves that while Zacque may be a brilliant Photographer, the intricacies of the Mobile Phone still elude him.
So, Zacque, do you type to your mother with that finger?
Several people have asked why I keep posting pictures of me flipping people off.
It’s because I’m fed up with a lot of bullshit from a lot of different sources, as I explained.
Of course, there’s also the problem, much like when you were a child, where your parents said, “Your face will freeze like that!”
Well, my finger seems to have frozen like that.
It doesn’t really matter.
Everybody flips people off.
Most of you just do it when you think nobody knows.
But I know.
You go in the other room, the door closed between you and the object of your ire.
You flip them off, while making faces mocking them.
You look silly.
So sometimes, you do it in front of the mirror to see how badass you look, on the off chance that you’ll eventually do it for real…
So don’t act like you’re any different.
I just happen to be a little more blatant about it.
So much so, that I’m starting a Regular Column.
I learned from the best, ya know.
The FahQ Masters.
Even my best buddy G.W. does it.
Man, that was a long time ago, huh?
I seem to remember reporters chasing the dog…
Wasn’t this one on the England trip? No wonder…
No idea on this, but it’s more recent, isn’t it?
So there you have it. Everybody does it. Even the Commander in Chief of our Armed Forces, and Supreme Ominous Leader of the Free World. It’s a great way to relieve stress AND get your point across!
And if you think that’s classy, those photos are a helluva lot more tame than the ones of Clinton shoving half his arm up his nose to pull the cocaine residue out of his corroded sinuses, or the ones of Obama whispering, “Michelle, you better not fuck this up or I’ll have your ass, bitch!”
I mean, the nerve… *shakes head*
On one of the Support Foums I hang in, I found this message, supposedly from a Rapidshare.de Support member. Some information has been removed in order to protect privacy/stupidity, but you’ll get the gist:
Im one of the support members who work for Rapidshare.com/.de who is responsible to make sure that no illegal software is uploaded to our servers. Recently about 1 week ago we have found out that one of your users who is hosting with you - domain: http://XXXXXX1.com indexes illegal links on his/her website.
Myself and other members of our support team has sent number of emails to your departments legal@YYYYY.com and abuse@YYYYY.com tho with no reply and no action taken.
I hope as a respective hosting provider you will take immediate action regarding this issue ASAP as we will have no other choice but to take this action further and report to IWF (Internet Watch Foundation).
Awaiting reply.
Kind Regards,
ZZZZZ
An hour and a half later, ZZZZZ adds the following information:
Just to add our sytem has found out another domain’(s) hosted by you:
http://www.XXXXX2.com
http://www.XXXXX3.comwhich contains illegal content too.
In case you’re unfamiliar with Rapidshare, they’re a file sharing company who lets users put up whatever they want for download. Of course, this creates all sorts of illegal uses, and Rapidshare.com is pretty quick about getting stuff taken down — when there are complaints.
The German side, however, Rapidshare.de, is notoriously lazy in responding to Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) Requests, complaints about Pirated Software, RIAA Music Complaints, Terrorist Content and, of course, some of the most vile atrocities involving children. Due to their “slow” nature and their extremely strict adherence to bureaucray, they’ve become the haven of choice for illicit file sharing.
XXXXX1-3.coms are, for all practical purposes, search engines for the content stored on Rapidshare.de, and host no content of their own. Instead, they cull the Latest files as published by Rapidshare.de and put them into a nice, easily searchable engine so that most anyone can find whatever content is stored in the Fileshares at Rapidshare.de.
The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) is an anti-child exploitation organization based in the United Kingdom. They work with police, in the United Kingdom, to assist in the prevention of child exploitation over the Internet. As noble an effort as they are, their jurisdiction is still only in the UK.
YYYYY.com is a US-based entity. Neither are XXXXX1.com, XXXXX2.com nor XXXXX3.com operated or owned by anyone in the UK.
So, basically, ZZZZZ asserts that YYYYY.com is hosting the sites, XXXXX1-3.com, and that YYYYY.com should take those sites down because they are hosting “illegal links.” He doesn’t provide those links, of course. But him, being from a German-based file sharing company, threatens to report a US-based host to a UK-based enforcement organization due to failure to act in removing content that is solely hosted by Rapidshare.de?
Excuse me, but *cough*bullsht*cough* what?
This is clearly a case of the Pot calling the Kettle an African Slave, captured by armed men somewhere in the Transvaal region of South Africa in 1789, and the Dutch bastard selling him to the Portugeuse for shipment to the New World says to call him “Stefan.”
i.e. The irony is so thick you’d have to cut it with industrial machinery.
And per ZZZZZ’s complaint, anyone can completely understand YYYYY.com not taking the threat seriously…
Can you say, “Bureaucratic Posturing,” boys and girls?
I knew you could.
Note: I have nothing to do with XXXXX1.com, XXXXX2.com, XXXXX3.com, YYYYY.com, ZZZZZ or Rapidshare.de. I’m just sayin’… *shakes head*
