Tags: asshats, chinese, customer service, food, fortune-cookies, greed, humor, sarcasm
I am sad to say that my addiction to Chinese Food was abruptly halted as a result of the ongoing battle with the Fortune Cookie Nazi. He won, I lost; no MSG, salt loaded, sugary goodness for Diva. Dammit.
So, I come home from a business trip and OG tells me that while I was gone, she had went to said establishment to partake of take-out as her man had taken ill.
She went to the self serve bar, I remember so well. She filled her to-go boxes with treats of all kinds…
She went to the front to pay our friend the Fortune Cookie Nazi…
“You need-a any sauces today?” He asked.
“No. I don’t think so,” she politely replied.
“Well, you must-a take the fortune cookie,” he tells her.
A light bulb went off over her head. She knows first hand that I’m not kidding when I say he just won’t give me a fortune cookie. That he has an inner drive within his deep dark soul, which keeps him from simply dipping in and giving me my friggin’ cookie.
What’s wrong with a brother when he won’t even share a 5 cent cookie? He would give me a truck load of sauces, chop stix, but no damn cookie. All I want is my cookie!! Why can’t you just give me my cookie!!!
I’m going to go rock back and forth in the corner now.