Tags: bad-drivers, english, food, Germany, homesick, humor, love, money, sarcasm, travel
One week to the day after I was wed to my prince, I was on a plane to Germany for a business trip that would keep me away for 10 days. I can’t say I’ve ever been happier to be home than I am now.
I realized there are so many little bitty things I manage to take for granted every single day. You better believe the following is a tribute to those things.
I never really realized just how damn much ice meant to me until I didn’t have it in my drink, for 10 days. No friggin ice. Luke warm yacky soda with no ice to chomp on. Damn.
Well, the German people have soda. But they don’t have a friggin clue what Diet Coke is, no. They call that shit Coke Light. It’s super sweet and it tastes like real Coke. And without ice it is simply undrinkable to my spoiled American palate. And Diet Dew? They don’t have Dew at all, let alone Diet Dew Light. Damn.
The Dollar Being A Dollar
The US dollar is nothing more than a flipping piece of paper at the time of this writing. I’m here to tell ya, by the time I paid the currency exchange fees and the exchange rate being as it was… my damn dollar was worth less than 47 cents, my friends. It was extremely apparent to me just how bad it was when I came home to do my expense report and found that for 10 days, with exchange rate, I had spent more than $400 on food and drinks alone. Damn. Wait! Rachael Ray would be totally impressed, that would be $40 a day. Go me!
Courtesy on the Road
Well, not that we have the most courteous drivers in the US, especially in the states that start with “I”, but even those numbnuts are courteous compared to the asshats on the autobahn. Hello dickhead, get out of my tail pipe and learn to use a signal other than the bird!
Now this es muy imporante. I never in my life thought, with all the traveling Diva does, that I would be homesick for my man. I thought, I’m gone all the time. It’ll be no big deal. WRONG! After more than a year of seeing his face and hearing his voice every single day… I realized how much I need those things and how much that he means to me. Oh God, I’m getting all mushy again.
But seriously, doing without Diet Dew with ice on the autobahn was enough to make me want to walk to the coast, buy a boat and start paddlin my ass back home.